March 30, 2010~

Dear Journal~

Maria Johnson here.  Sorry if I haven't written in so long; things just haven't been the same since Opri passed away four years ago.  I still miss him, each and every day!

If Opri were still alive today, he would be 18; he would have been 19 on September 11.  He didn't quite make it.  He was on the national transplant list, waiting for a new kidney; that new kidney never came; therefore, he only got sicker and died.  It was the worst pain a parent  can ever experience; you don't expect to outlive your child; yet that is exactly what has happened, and my other child, Jacqueline (Jacquie), now lives life without her little brother.

Jacquie is now 22 and lives on her own, with her husband, Carlos Santos, and their brand new baby, Sergio Opri, named in honor of her brother; so in that regard, Opri's memory lives on and will always do so.

Most days I do pretty well; however, around the anniversary of his death (or his birthday), I turn inward and do not want to bother with anybody, be they my immediate family, my new husband, my stepchildren, my neighbors, or my friends.  I just want to be left alone in my grief and remember Opri when he was still alive.

I remember the bad times as well as the good times; there were plenty of both.

Opri Rabon was born with kidney problems; he had his first transplant when he was only five; he had his second one at the age of 11.  Because of his health problems, he was shorter than a lot of his peers and couldn't play sports or play rough.  He spent his days playing with his older sister (who is blind; she has diabetes), or playing with his video games, which he adored.  He also loved clog dancing; he was quite the little dancer before his kidneys failed yet again; then, ultimately, he had to give even that up.  It was one of the hardest things he ever had to do; he wanted to dance on the Grand Ole Opry.

He never made it.

Opri was a good kid who tried to do well between hospitalizations or surgeries.  He had many friends and was a popular fixture in our neighborhood (and at church); he enjoyed serving as altar boy during Mass every Saturday and Sunday.  (We are Catholic.)  Opri also loved dancing and playing the fiddle.

I got remarried two years ago; still live in the same house here on Twin Rivers Lane here in Nashville, Tennessee.  The house has since had an addition put on, so it could accomodate my husband and his kids.  My new husband's name is Wyatt Wing; he has three children:  Crystal (13), Lee Pin (10), and Ashton Philip (7).  I have grown to love my stepchildren very much; it's like having Opri and Jacquie as little kids all over again (but without all of the medical drama).  They are all great kids, very smart, and excellent, naturally gifted athletes.  Jacquie has learned to accept her new father and stepbrothers and sister; they, in kind, have learned to accept Jacquie.

It doesn't bother them one bit that Jacquie is blind; she can do just about do anything anyone else does except drive or cook.

I love spoiling my first grandchild.  Sergio Opri is such a beautiful little baby; he looks just like his mamasita!  He is only a month old, just the sweetest little thing!  I watch him every weekend while his parents go out for the day; it is the perfect arrangement because I have extra hands to help if needed.  I love buying him toys and clothes, and I love holding him in my arms, breathing in the new baby smell, and hearing his delightful little noises.  He is perfect, absolutely perfect!

Well, Wyatt is calling, so I must run along; it's time to take the kids to their baseball game.  Hopefully they will do well and win; even if they don't, as long as they play for the love of the game and not so much for the winning part, then they should do just fine.  I always try to stress to them that it doesn't matter how the game ends; as long as they play their best, then that's all that I care about.  I will write in here again; until then, this is Maria Johnson-Wing saying so long and God bless!

~Love, your friend in Tennessee, Maria.  :)