Hello from Kingsport, Tennessee! Hope this finds y'all well and happy!
We are doing okay; we do have our bad days, especially when Cordarial Michael, our eight-and-a-half year-old son, goes into another one of his tizzies or throws up yet again at the dinner table (usually on himself). It's a trial, but with God's help, I feel we will make it! We have to!
Cordarial is still in diapers, but he's trying to complete this task called potty training. It is frustrating because a.) diapers are so expensive (particularly the adult size; Cordarial's gotten so tall!), and b.) we often have to pack extra clothes when we ssend our son to school, in case he has another accident. He can pee pretty good; it's the other one he is having difficulty in mastering!
Cordarial isn't making any real progress in his talking ability either. He can still say about three dozen words (or sentences), but he doesn't really seem interested in learning more words, which is another big frustration we face.
At least his brothers and sisters are patient with him; they have more patience than I do. Sometimes on the bad days I go into my room, shut the door, and cry; I always then feel a lot better after I've gotten my frustrations out. Jacob, my husband, is also very good with our son; I just wish I could say the same thing about myself! I think I am doing well, then Cordarial does something to make me crazy, and I feel like I'm the world's biggest failure as a parent!
I often feel alone as a parent with a child with special needs; if it were not for the community I belong to, I would have probably killed msyelf (or Cordarial) long ago. I know this isn't the way to solve problems; it's only by God's grace that I have kept my sanity (fairly well) ... for now.
I belong to a community of parents who have children with special needs. We all have something in common: raising disabled children, or children with chronic health problems. We talk to each other via phone calls, e-mails, videos, or letters ("snail mail"). I know I am not alone, but when people don't really offer me any relief, then what am I supposed to think?? I just wish more people in my area could help me (or my son) more than they do! I often have to wing it all by myself, or have the older kids help, and then I feel like I am cheating them out of a normal childhood!
Sunday would have been a good day, but Cordarial threw a hissy fit right in church; I had to take him outside before he could calm down. He has never really tolerated being in huge crowds before; I don't know why we didn't think of sitting with him outside the sanctuary sooner! I think we are going to have to start doing that with our son or else the pastor might kick us out of church for "disturbing the peace"! It was highly embarrassing; tears still prick my eyes and my face still flushes deep red whenever I think of it; it is still so fresh in my mind!
After our disaster at church, we took the kids to the park, where they had an Easter egg hunt. It went well until Cordarial crapped himself ... and leave it to me: I didn't pack any extra diapers. He was smelling pretty ripe by the time it was time to leave; I know people around us could probably smell him! They kept making nasty faces or scooting away whenever they went by us. Talk about mortifying!
Our trip to the park was cut short because I had to deal with Cordarial and his messy mishap! I was pretty annoyed at him, and at myself, for not packing extra diapers!
Well, Cyanne Lyne'e, our youngest (she will be five next month), is calling to be let in (she locked herself out again!), so I will go. I will write in here again soon; until later, this is Bertina Jackson saying so long! Pray I can keep a grip on Cordarial; he is driving me past the point of insanity at times! I could really use a break! Also pray that people offer us relief or that Cordarial masters toilet training!! I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks in advance!
~Bertina. :(
*to be continued.*
