April 2010~

Greetings!  It is me, Fahid Al-Mahood!  I hope this finds you well!

I am sorry if I haven't been writing:  Amir, Jr., my son, takes up a lot of my time -- he is busy with soccer, baseball, and playing with his friends.  He is a very happy little boy; he has just turned seven years old.  He is really growing up!

I also continue to attend classes at university:  I will be graduating this summer; my major is English Communications; my mnior is Journalism.  I think I would like to become a professional writer, perhaps, maybe write a book about my experiences in Iraq and here in America, which is my new home, and the home I prefer.

I try not to think about my ex-husband, Amir, Jr., who is in jail for trying to kill me, amongst other charges.  I still say he should be incarcerated longer than what the judge called for; I am trying to make sure he stays in jail for a longer period of time because he is a very violent and dangerous man.  I am scared that if gets out, he will try to find me, perhaps even kill me, or take Amir, Jr. away from me.  I don't think I could handle it if anything were to happen to Amir, Jr.; he's my world, my everything!

Another major step in my life is that I have embraced Christianity.  I am no longer practicing Islam; I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart, and I am now attending a Christian, Bible-believing church.  It is different, but I feel so free, something I did not feel when I was a Muslim.  Every day I learn something new, and even though at times it is very confusing, I know I will understand it as time goes on.

I go to Christ Community Assembly of God church.  I go every Sunday.  I would go Wednesday, too, but that's the day Amir, Jr., has his baseball and soccer practices, so that day is tied up. 

Amir, Jr. is in the first grade and has proven to be a very smart little boy.  I am very proud of him. 

I am still seeking the help of a counsellor, to help me deal with the past.  At times I still have nightmares or flashbacks, especially when I look in the mirror and see my scarred face.  I know that perhaps one day I will eventually learn to accept myself and see myself as God sees me.  I know He loves me, and I have to learn to trust Him to get me through whatever life throws my way, no matter how bad it may seem. It is helping, but I hate having to delve back in time and bring up old bad memories!

Well, I have to go:  it is almost ten forty in the morning, and I have to get ready for university; my first class today is at 12.  I will write in here again soon; sorry if I haven't written; now you know why.  Life is very busy for me.  Take care, and may God bless you!

~Love, your friend in Tennessee, Fahid Al-Mahood.  :)

*to be continued.*