My name is Melissa Hope Standiford.  I am fifteen years old; I live in a home for severely disabled children and teenagers.  I cannot walk or talk; if I want to make my thoughts/feelings known, I have to rely on facial expressions or writing things down; otherwise, I cannot communicate like most people.

People think that just because I cannot walk or talk, I must be as dumb as a bag of rocks.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  I happen to be very smart; in fact, I am considered to be "gifted"; I have a very high IQ, even with all my physical infirmities.

The worst thing about being severely disabled is not being able to do anything for myself.  I cannot walk or talk, as I just said; I also cannot feed myself (someone has to feed me or else I have a tube in my stomach), dress myself, or even go to the restroom without help.  Having to wear diapers is degrading; there is nothing I hate more than this!!  I am a teenager, not a goddam* baby!!

I do have a family, but I personally think they are ashamed of me.  I have a mom and a dad, a brother, and two sisters (all older; all are in their twenties).  I think when I was born, they felt I was nothing but a huge disappointment, and caring for me is a full-time job, so they stuck me in this damn institution, where I have been for the last eight years.  (I was nine when I was placed here.  I still resent my family for doing this to me.)

I have school here along with the other residents, but what they teach me is stuff I already know, so I feel like I am not making any progress in my education.  It is extremely frustrating.

Besides reading and writing, I love to watch television (I watch "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", "CSI", "Deal Or No Deal", "Modern Family", and "Desperate Housewives"; I also love the series "V"), go to concerts (I love Whitesnake, Ozzy Osbourne, and The Rolling Stones), and go on field trips once a month.  I look forward to these "outings" because I'm usually stuck here; with my level of disability, there just isn't much that I can do by myself.  I often have to rely on others for just about every area of my life.

If there was one thing I wish I could have, it would be a working body or a voice, even for only an hour.  It would make such a huge difference, and people would probably treat me with a lot more respect and dignity than what they usually do.  They think that just because my body is broken, then my brain must be, too, so they "talk down" to me.

When I get out of school, I would like to attend college and become a professional writer.  I would love to write a book about my life and make people realize that I am a lot more than my body or my severe disability.

*to be continuecd.*