I swear I'm the biggest moron on the planet. 

You would think I would know the name of my latest girlfriend; trouble is, I've really never had any luck with girls, so whenever I do have one, all their faces seem to blend together in one confused mess.

I can tell you all about her face; as for her name, forget about it.  I am horrible with names; always have been, always will be, I guess.  My latest girlfriend has curly red hair, big baby-blue eyes, a cute little upturned nose, and dimples in her cheeks when she smiles.  She is very cute.  Yet as for her name, I can't remember it.  She tells me, but for some weird reason, I can't remember it five minutes after she's told me.

I break out in a cold sweat whenever I see her.  I try to be a gentleman, but I'm always stumbling over my tongue which has suddenly gotten too large for my mouth whenever I try to talk to her, and I end up falling all over myself whenever I try to stand up or walk.  Let's face it:  when it comes to girls, I'm a total geekazoid!

For some reason I want to call my latest girlfriend Polly, but somehow, that doesn't sound right.  Is her name Polly?  Pauline?  Patty?  Prudence?  Peggy?  Primrose?  Promise? Oh, I don't know:  I can't for the life of me remember anything, especially whenever I think about how cute my girlfriend is!  I look at her, and everything goes blank, including my brain!

People laugh at me because I am such a dim bulb when it comes to girls.  As I said, I fall all over myself, my mouth (not to mention, my tongue) turns into mushy oatmeal, and I break out into a giant sized sweat, so much, in fact, it looks like I've stood out in the rain!

It's horrible living like this.  I swear I have premature Alzheimer's disease:  I can't remember diddly-squat, especially when it comes to girls (case in point, my latest girlfriend)!

What does one do when they face a problem like mine?  I am ready for all takers to offer me any helpful tips; I hate being the laughingstock at my school because I can't seem to land a girl, and if I do, it's never for long ... all because I can't remember their stupid-assed name!!