My name is Abby.  I am fourteen years old.  I live with my family in Sandusky, Ohio.  I have three sisters and two brothers; I'm the second oldest.

This year I am doing something radically different:  instead of hanging out at Cedar Point Amusement Park with my friends, I am going to be helping out at a camp for children with special needs; I signed up as a junior counselor.  It's a church camp; I was approached by Pastor Mark at my church, where he asked me about this.  I volunteered; now that the camp is coming up in a few weeks, I am starting to get a little more nervous as each day goes by.

I was asked by my pastor back in April; it's now nearly the middle of June.  Camp is in two weeks, right after the fourth of July.  It will go on for a week.

The kids who will be at this camp are all disabled.  Some you wouldn't know it (the kids who are deaf or have "invisible" disabilities like autism, epilepsy, etc.); others, their disabilities are probably much more obvious:  they'll be on crutches or walkers or will be sitting in wheelchairs, or they may be drooling uncontrollably and making weird sounds, or they may carry scars on their bodies or have bald heads due to illnesses like cancer or progeria.  Some will probably be very small and look much younger than their true ages.  Some kids will also probably be blind and have to depend on canes or dogs (or other people) to help them get around.

To tell you the truth, I have really never felt comfortable around kids who are "different" than me.  If you ask me, kids in wheelchairs or kids who are mentally disabled or kids who can't see or hear make me nervous.  I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it.  I have a cousin, Lisa, who became paralyzed as a result of being struck by a drunk driver last year, and I end up feeling sorry for her and she gets mad; so we don't hardly talk or even see each other anymore. 

I know I shouldn't feel sorry for Lisa, but I think about what she lost (her ability to walk or run), and I get angry at the person who did this to her.  I am a Christian, but I find it awfully hard to forgive someone who took an innocent child's ability to walk away from her; he didn't think of his actions when he got behind the wheel of his car and slammed into her in an alcoholic haze.  Lisa spent many months in the hospital (she was in a coma for two months; doctors didn't think she'd live; she spent many more months recovering and then having to go through intensive physical and occupational therapies).

Mom says I am being judgemental and silly; well, can you blame me??  My cousin is now crippled because of some stupid jerk, and I can't help the way I feel most of the time!  If I could have the old Lisa back, I'd be a lot happier, for one thing!

Lisa and I did everything together.  Now she can't get around without someone pushing her stupid wheelchair, and she wears ugly-looking braces on her legs!

Anyway, I will be helping out at this camp for special kids in a few weeks, and I don't know if I can handle so many broken bodies or minds.  I will be thinking of Lisa, and I don't know if I am cut out for this job that I am facing.

I hope that God will help me through this period becauase I surely cannot do it on my own!  I am still upset about my cousin becoming disabled, and it will still be fresh on my mind when I see the campers coming off their special buses or vans!

*To be continued.*