June 30, 2010, Nashville, Tennessee~

Wayne Wright here.  I wish, I could say I am doing well, but personally, I'm not.  It seems my world is falling apart ...

My sister, Audrey, won't talk to me; it's as if she's shut me out of her life.  Her husband, Rick, will, but barely; he just tolerates me.  Their daughter (Susie) -- my niece -- is back home from the hospital, but she's a shell of her former self.  Susie requires twenty-four hour skilled nursing care, and there's no hope of her ever coming back.  Her brain was thought to have been severely damaged as a result of a recent stroke she had; after she had the stroke, she quit breathing and was without oxygen for over ten minutes.  So there may have very well been lethal damage to her brain.

I wish I could fly out there to be with them, but I'm facing surgery again later this coming month. Shunt replacement; have been having blinding headaches and double vision.  I haven't been working for the past several weeks because of onging dizzy spells. 

More worries on top of everything else.  I don't know why God allows me to go through so much. 

Add to that, the recent flooding we had back in May.  Just got the house to where it looks the way it did, but we had to replace the furniture and other items.  We are so far behind in debt it's a wonder how we are able to pay the bills (and then when we do, we have to borrow from a loan company; thank God we have good credit!).  Our lives are unraveling, and it's enough to make me want to give up.

I don't know what I have done to make Audrey turn against me.  I have tried to be there for her, but she refuses to even listen to me.  I was the one who suspected that Susie was having serious emotional problems and suggested counseling.  For a while, it appeared that she was doing well; then she went into this catatonic like state, where she basically shut everyone out of her life.  Then she had a spell and ended up in the hospital, not once, but several times.  Then the stroke, which has left her vulnerable and broken.

All I can do for Audrey and Rick (and Susie and the rest of the family) is pray for a miracle.  They certainly need one in their lives!

I could use a miracle too, but nothing like my sister and brother-in-law!

Well, I am going to go:  crying too hard.  It seems that's all I've done for the past few weeks:  cry.  I don't know why God can't take me; I can't take too much more of this anymore!

~Wayne.  :(  *Tears!*