Matthew Josiah is my life.  I would do anything for him, even go as far as dying for him.  I love him that much.

Matthew was born 15 years ago.  He seemed to be perfect (ten fingers, ten toes), but it was sadly soon apparent that he was born with significant damage to his brain.  We don't know what happened, but he was to be handicapped for the rest of his life.  It was one of the worst things I could have ever experienced, but then Jeff (my husband) left me after finding out that his only son was born disabled.

Eventually I got over it, although it took a very long time.  I was determined to help my son in any way possible, so he could have a good life.  I would take care of him and protect him from a world not geared for his specific needs.

Matthew is able to see and hear, but he cannot talk or walk.  He can eat if I feed him, but he is prone to choking if he (or I) aren't careful.  He has to have his chest clapped three times a day (one hour each session), to prevent him from getting pneumonia or ending up in the hospital yet again.  In addition, he has breathing treatments and uses oxygen at night, when he goes to sleep. 

He could be tube-fed, but I won't allow that to happen. 

Matthew, even with not being able to talk, is a great communicator.  He has an extremely expressive face, and his face tells the whole story of his moods:  how he is feeling or what he wants.  If he wants something he will point and nod his head vigorously, making emphatic grunting noises.  If he is upset, he will curl his lips in a frown and cry (or if extremely agitated, he will hit or bite you).  It isn't easy when he is angry or sad, but I do all I can to keep him happy or occupied.

Reading to him, playing simple games, or singing to him works wonders.

It isn't easy raising a child who needs so much care, but I do quite well.  I am proud of all that he's done (gone to concerts, gone on trips to Alaska or to Mexico on a cruise, hobnobbed with the famous, been featured in local newspapers or in local magazines, etc.), and it is exciting to see what the future holds for him. 

I have many friends who help me when things get to be too much to handle.  I also have my church.  If it were not for my faith in God, I'd be a much different person; it is only by God's grace that Matthew has lived this long and has done so much.  It's also by His grace that I have been able to handle anything that's come our way.

Well, Matthew is cooing (his way of getting my attention), so I will see what he needs.  I will write in here again another day; until later, this is Kim Rhodes saying so long and God bless!