I stand here by Richard's grave and I feel tears prick my eyes yet again as I pause and remember ...

It's been nearly nine years since IT happened, and I still find myself shuddering as I recall the horrors of that day. 

Planes running into twin towers in a ball of flame.  People screaming.  Ambulances, firetrucks, and police vehicles rushing to the scene.  A sense of forboding and panic slicing the air on a crisp, beautiful late summer day.  People not knowing what was going on, except that they were terrified ...

I still have nightmares.  I haven't had a decent night's sleep in I don't know how long.  Insomnia.  Can't close my eyes without seeing the graphic, horrifying images being played again and again in my mind as I try to forget ...  I now have ongoing depression and have developed other health problems as a direct result of this tragedy that hit America out of nowhere.

I lost my brother in the attacks.  He was on one of the planes that hit the north building of the World Trade Towers.  He sat near the front.  He was only 32 years old.  Too, too young to die like this.  And for what??  Because some nutjobs from the Middle East wanted to kill as many Americans as possible all in the name of their god??

Where was our God in all of this as this was taking place??  Couldn't He have done something to stop it, or was He too busy fielding (and answering) less important prayer requests??  Didn't He care??

My brother left a wife and two tiny children who never even knew their father excepting in pictures or home movies or videos.  The kids are now nearing nine years old and I am sure they have questions.  Tons of questions about what happened to their father ... and why.

I'm in counselling to help me deal with the memories; I really don't see them doing much good, especially since the nine-year anniversary is in less than two months.  What's to say it won't happen again, especially since we have a Muslim president in the White House who is clearly bent on destroying America (which he is)??

I fear for our country ... and if it does happen again, it very well could be much worse ...  Our country has become complacent once again ("Oh, it will never happen again"), and we have become the Divided States of America.  Neighbor against neighbor.  Friend against friend.  Family member against family member.  One cultural group against another.  It is becoming scary living in America today.

I don't know why people didn't vote with their hearts instead of with their heads when they chose our current president as their leader.  The man is clearly a compulsive liar, and I no longer believe a thing he says.  I don't trust him; something about him gives me the stone-cold chills.

We need to wake up, people, and see what is happening to our (once-great) nation!

I am in a constant state of worry that IT will happen again.  And now some people want to build a mosque, of all things, ON Ground Zero??  Just what is that going to prove??  Those who believe this way were the ones who DID this crime against our nation; it would be a slap in the face to those who died and those they left behind, including myself!!

I can no longer go to the East Coast (in particular, New York City).  I used to go there all the time; I remember the twin towers touching the sky like twin sentinals guarding The City.

I thought they were beautiful.  Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine them being brought down by people bent on killing innocents just because they didn't believe the way they did". 

And my brother, Richard K. Kilpatrick, was aomng the dead.

Angry?  Bitter?  Bent on revenge?  Perhaps, but one thing is certain:  I will never forget, and I will make sure others don't either.  I have written a book as a tribute to my fallen brother, and I want people to know how much he touched my life and the lives of those who knew him best.  And I want people to know where our country is headed and what will happen if we don't wise up and say:  "NO MORE!!  Enough is ENOUGH!!"

You bet your sweet ass I will never forget!!