Sometimes I wish I had never been born.  It's not my fault that I've been fat for most of my life!  I think the only time I was skinny when I was born:  I weighed five pounds even.  You wouldn't know that now just by looking at me!

My family is supportive of my dream to be a country singer, but everyone else seems to enjoy making digs about my weight.  They keep tellin' me that I would do better to lose 20 to 30 pounds; nobody wants a fat elephant singin' on stage of the Grand Ole Opry!  It's enough to make me want to kill myself sometimes!  I HATE being fat!!!!

As I said earlier, in my previous story, I have tried just about every diet known to man, and no matter what I eat, I just can't seem to lose the weight.  I also exercise (until I get winded, anyway), but again, the pounds just refuse to come off.  It's like I'm in a rut that I can't get out of, and it's extremely frustrating!!

I want to sing on the Grand Ole Opry so bad I can't stand it!  I want to be the one standing on that same stage where people like Loretta Lynn, Hank Williams, Sr., Patsy Cline, or Marty Robbins have stood, or even stars like Kelly Pickler, "Rascal Flatts", Carrie Underwood, Brad Paisley, or Kid Rock!!  If I could just make it there I would be somebody!!

I am sure there have been heavy people who have sung at the Opry.  I look at the old pictures of the "Hee Haw" tv show or videos, and I see heavy-set people singin' and pickin' on the Opry!  What do they have that I don't, in order to make it??  Why did people let them go to the Opry?? What's the matter with me that I can't??  Is it because that I'm too young, just a kid????

Another thing that bothers me about a lot of the stars of today is that a good chunk of them are skinny.  Or handsome or pretty.  I'm not bad looking, as far as looks go, but I'm no Miss America!  The weight certainly doesn't help matters!  Most of the people on maman's side of the family is are heavy; I just happened to inherit that part of my family's genes!

I can't stand watching the singers on tv because they lord it over us fat people that if they can lose the weight, then so can people like me.  It's enough to make me want to throw up!  I want to tell them to stick their diets up their butts; diets don't work -- at least, not for me!!  I am so sick of rabbit food and dieting I could just scream!!

I just might as well give up my dream because other than singing at some local Cajun or country events, I am not getting anywhere fast!  I HATE my life; I wish I were dead!!!!

*to be continued.*