Promise that if you read this, you won't tell a living soul.

I trust you won't.  I pray you don't.  Because if word gets out, I might be better off dead.

My name is Matt.  I am fifteen years old.  And I am in love.  Only it's not with a girl.  It's with a guy.  Yes, I'm a person who is gay.  Have always known deep down that I was gay for a long time: seems that men are more attractive to me than women (okay, young teenaged girls).

The object of my affection is a guy in my chemistry class named Rob*.  Rob is fifteen like me, but he's built like a greek god.  Rippling muscles.  Rock-hard abs to die for.  Not an ounce of fat on his lean, healthy, tanned physique.  Thick, wavy dark-gold hair that tumbles to his shoulders in haphazard curls.  Intense steel-blue eyes.  A well-sculpted Roman nose.  A strong chin.  Deep dimples in his cheeks when he smiles.  The guy is a living movie idol, in terms of looks.

When I first laid eyes on him, my eyes about popped out of my face, and I swear, my jaw hit the ground.  I couldn't believe at how beautiful he was.  Yet it was more than a dream:  I had to pinch myself a few times to make sure that it was real, and not a figment of my imagination.

Nobody knows about this except yours truly.  Even my parents and my sisters don't know.  Because if they did, I'd probably be laughed right out of the state of Washington ... that, or kicked out of the house.  Y'see, my family is Christian, and I am not.  I don't believe in that religious mumbo-jumbo; I don't need God in my life.  I'm happiest the way I am, being me!

So this is why I write this diary in secret.  That way, nobody but me (and my diary) don't know anything about what's really goin' down with me.

I plan on keeping it that way.

I don't know why I was born the way I was, but I guess there was a reason for it.  It's just that people of the female persuasion just don't float my boat.  I find females incredibly boring, not to mention, overemotional and dramatic.  Guys seem to be more accepting, more accomodating, and we aren't afraid to express how we really feel.  So there you go.  This is the way I have always been, and the way I will always be, I guess.

Well, since it will be the weekend, I plan on going to Rob's pad and we plan on hanging out together.  More importantly, it is a holiday weekend, so that means Rob and I will be off from school on Monday.  On Labor Day we plan on kickin' back and doin' absolutely nothing except, perhaps, to annoy my sisters and my parental units.  We also plan on having a barbeque and acting like typical guys: wrestling, horsing around, maybe tossing the ol' pigskin around for kicks.

It is going to be a good time.  Now if I could just keep the fact that I am interested in Rob hidden from my family or my friends ...

*to be continued.*

*Not his real name.