"You used to tickle me" she said "and I could not resist,"

the most fun I can remember from my child hood. You tormented me

over the homework that never got done, while the tv blared,

while the music played and you were teaching me my first dance steps,

held me my first hold and embrace,

brought me close to my first almost kiss

my first hot breath

my first stick-straight eye contact

and whispered bedroom window laments

as you pretended to love the girl which ignored you

and I pretended to offer you advice

while my own breasts pounded

almost hurting from the effort

alieviated only by my gurgling giggles

at the 11pm hour

because to stay up past midnight

might bring out the goblins beneath the bed

and the monster in the closet

who, if I slipped, and stayed awake too long

my only protection then was my goo-goo doll

because she and I had a kid bubble all around

within which no monster could survive;

and sleep always saved us, didn't it?

In my gauzy dreams the wide world  grew at night

to gigantic size and I lay on my bed of dreams

sleepy-eyed fixed on how big things were and how small

my size anchored only by the sounds of crickets outside,

muffled noises from Mom and Dad down the hall

in their room

and I lay often wondering if these nightly seperations made any sense

at all, especially if I lay there in bed scared.

All I wanted was to feel safe and I really really couldn't alone

so I would turn the radio on

and let the music fill in the gaps between me and the wide-wide world. outside, my bated breathing, my only guide, my only safety clutch.

To Be Continued