I wish spring would come ...

I am sick of the cold, the snow, the very thought of being cooped inside yet another day.  It doesn't help that I am disabled, crippled up with rheumatoid arthritis, but I can understand why I don't go outside much.  If I were to fall, it could prove to be disasterous, since I am unable to get up on my own.

So I sit here, looking out the big picture window from the comfort of my wheelchair, wrapped up in a blanket, a nice fire roaring in the fireplace.  I look out at the whitness outside; it even looks cold.  I can hear the winds howling and see the winds whipping the freshly fallen snow.  Makes me hurt even more.

All the colors of spring and summer are but a distant memory.  Winter has always been a hard time of year for me; I am just glad the Christmas holidays are past.  It's been four years since my Edgar passed away, and I still miss him as much now as I did when he first died.  He died of a brain aneurysm.  It was quick and sudden.  One minute we were talking and laughing; the next: gone.  Just like that.

Then I had to cope with moving in with my son and his family.  While I am thankful they took me in, I still can't help feeling like I've imposed on their world, and I feel like such a burden.  My arthritis makes it hard to do most things without excruciating pain if I move, and I am wheelchair-bound.  I need help getting around.  I can walk, but for short distances, and I just don't feel comfortable doing it, so I mainly stay in my wheelchair.

What was that?? Did I see something out of the corner of my eye?  Something bright?  Or was my mind playing tricks on me again?  Must be the medications talking ...

No, I am not seeing things.  There is a bright red cardinal who has just perched himself on a branch in a tree right outside the window.  He is now looking at me; he suddenly starts rocking back and forth, his beak opening in song.  It's as though God sent the bird to cheer me up. 

Whatever the case, it appears to be working.  Suddenly, I feel a smile playing on my face, the aches and pains of my arthritis and the mere fact that I can't get outside temporarily forgotten.  I also forget of the lonliness I feel inside as I reminiesce about Edgar.  The bird continues to sit there on his perch and sing just for me. 

With trembling, gnarled hands, I pick up the dusty Bible that sits on the table next to my chair, and I open to the verse that says how much God cares for me.  I feel tears prick my eyes, and soon feel them running down my cheeks.  I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving and gratitude to my Heavenly Father, thanking Him for sending me the cardinal to lift my mood.  It is something simple, yet it is profound.  And suddenly I feel giddy, lighthearted, young. 

God does care for me, a lonely elderly lady homebound by bad weather, and He proved that by sending me a beautiful, fat, bright-red cardinal to sing just for me.  What an awesome, amazing God He is!!