This solar system mobile
slowly rotates
moved by a tiny breeze
I imagined just might
come from me below
breathing.

This was the silence of me.

The blank day was still
as the inside of a vault
no sound outside
no sound from within.

I sank into the moment;
my breathing muting
wanting to see
how comfortable
I was with the me
lying there.

Stillness is a severe test.

Then a quiet shudder
as I allowed an exhale longer
and deeper than usual,
this first shudder then
followed by another.
And another.

Breathing seemed to direct
my very being to another space
and my Body Being
in this circumstance
roused itself
came out
and displayed
its secret existence
which I
I realized
I ignore most of my life.

Startling to feel
Startling to realize
my thoughts leapt
to the idea
that this body was alive
separate from my mind
and had it own needs
goals and direction.

Startling to realize
that this my body
is alive in its own right,

separate from
me or mind
having a separate Being. 


I'd always thought that
aliveness was somehow
seated in my mind.

It and I talked.
It and I conversed
but what I thought
in that moment
did my body have to say?

What language does it speak?

I realized I 
had regarded it as a machine
to be feed or fueled
but not an entity
with its own Ideas and feelings.

 
For example,
does insecurity
lie in the mind,
in the brain
or in the body?

What is a body idea
anyway, separate from
my mind? 

Can a body dream?

All of this was startling
and to this day
I'm still seeking answers
to questions

with more questions still.

Where does my mind start
and my body end?
Not sure.
but one thing is clear
bodies domain
is sexual;
and it wants to live.