The last time I wrote, my mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease after showing symptoms of dementia and other accompanying problems. She was living at home then; she lived with us, where one of us stayed with her at all times. She couldn't be left by herself.
Back then, Mother could still walk on her own and could function somewhat. Sadly, the scenario has changed. Mother now resides in a nursing home facility, where others care for her needs. Mother is unable to talk, and has lost just about all her physical abilities. Mother is like an infant in an adult's body; she can no longer feed herself (she is fed by way of a tube in her stomach), and is incontenant. She has to wear adult-sized diapers.
It's really tragic to see the deterioation in Mother's health. Worse still, Mother no longer recognizes people, not even us, her very own family. Whenever we see Mother at the unrsing home, she stares blankly at us, as if we are complete strngers.
Mother doesn't even know what day it is or the fact that Christmas is just around the corner. Not even the sparkling decorations or the brightly lit Christmas tree in the foyer is enough to perk her interest. She just sits there in her wheelchair, drooling, and staring at God only knows what. It's as if she's become a totally different person altogether.
We (we being my husband, myself, and our two kids) see Mother just about every Saturday if my husband isn't working. Every time we leave disappointed because there has really been no progress in Mother's condition. We wonder if she is going to have any time left, and when she will die. We do know that she is dying; the question is when and how.
It is really depressing. We find it hard to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas because we find our minds occupied with Mother's needs and how we can reach inside that diseased mind of hers. We know that she didn't do this to herself, and that the Alzheimer's disease isn't her (or our) fault; but it still hurts to see her going downhill so rapidly.
*To be continued.*
