Edmund is a bit on the strange side.
I mean, who else would wear business suits ... along with long, khaki shorts, socks rolled up past the knees, thick Coke bottle-lensed glasses with black frames, brown penny loafers, and a fedora?
Who else would carry their lunch in a Scooby-Doo lunch box? W ho else would carry a briefcase instead of a backpack?
Yet this is exactly what Edmund P. Kaplan does, and because of it, we look down on him, tease him, call him names. We don't really care for him because he is so eccentric.
Edmund also happens to be very short. In a sea of sixth, seventh, and eighth graders, Edmund looks like he belongs in fourth, perhaps fifth grade. He is very tiny, and he doesn't weigh more than eighty pounds ... IF that. He is super-skinny. Let's face it: the kid has "NERD" written all over him. He looks like he could give Steve Urkel a run for his money!
Edmund is a nice kid, don't get me wrong, but come on. You aren't gonna win friends by carrying a cartoon character lunch box or wear weird clothes, or talk like you have a cold all the time. You also aren't gonna win friends by being clumsy and falling down all the time. That's another thing Edmund is known for: his sense of grace and finesse (of which he doesn't have!).
Edmund is the type of kid who would get stuck on the rope climb during gym and then would have to have the janitor (or a teacher) rescue him by plucking him off the rope. He's the type of kid who would ingest peanuts or some other food and break out into a horrendous allergic reaction to the point where an ambulance would have to be summoned (and it has happened before, several times; kid's allergic to peanuts and shellfish).
Poor Edmund tries so hard to be friends, but we can't get past the nerdy persona, so we pick on him. He still wants to hang out with us, the popular kids. He reminds me of a playful puppy. He just won't give up his efforts, and it is beginning to put a cramp in our style because now some of the popular guys are starting to pick on ME.
What is a guy to do? We have a king-sized pest in a kid's body hanging around us, and it doesn't look like he's gonna go anywhere anytime soon! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! I am beginning to hate this mondo-weirdo kid!!
