I don't know why we even bothered to get a dog in the first place.  Especially one like Dopey (and he is very aptly named!).

Dopey is a mutt: a conglomorate of different dog breeds.  He is a nondescript brown with a shaggy coat, and he is medium sized: he weighs about fifty pounds.  He has big, chocolate-brown eyes that can melt one's heart any time, especially when he does something bad or gets into something he shouldn't have ... and then we can't stay mad at him.  Works every time!

Dopey has done it again: he got into the clothes hamper and tore my wife's panty hose to shreds.  Guess he thought they were snakes or something, but he saw them, and he went nuts.  Shredded the hosiery to pieces.  Now Anna is going to have to get to the store sometime today so she can buy herself some new hosiery, to replace the ones that Dopey destroyed.

+Sigh!+

Then yesterday, Dopey ate a blue ink pen.  Still has a blue tongue today. 

Eating pens and hosiery is just the tip of the iceberg in what Dopey has done.  He's eaten the rubber off of my son's wheelchair (our son is disabled; he has spina bifida), chewed on the rubber tips of our son's crutches to nubs, broken open boxes of cereal, rice, or noodles, or coffee until there is food strewn all over the kitchen and hallway floors, pulled the curtains down (more than once, mind you), eaten the arm off the living room couch (since replaced), and other mega-disasters.

We have threatened him by taking him outside and tying him to his doghouse or threatened him to take him to the pound, but then Dopey does his "soulful eye" routine (or whines piteously), and we can't stay mad at him, no matter how hard we try.

I think a trip to obedience classes is in order, but as they so often say, "You cannot teach an old dog new tricks".  We are desperate for some help; where is "The Puppy Whisperer" when you need him the most??