For me, the hardest issue I have had to face so far is the loss of my hair.  My hair was my crowning glory: it was thick and as coppery-red as a penny.  Then I got sick with this darn cancer and am currently undergoing chemotherapy to try to eradicate it.

My hair was the first thing to go.  So was my appetite.  Now I'm as bald as a cue ball and am nauseated every time I go through the chemo.  It's all I can do to try to keep my strength up; the very thought of food sickens me.  It's horrible!!

While I know the drugs will help kill the cancer genes that's invaded my system, the side effects are horrendous.  The loss of my hair, even my eyebrows and eyelashes.  The ever present nausea or the feeling that I will throw up every time I see or smell food.  The weakness/tiredness.  The lack of energy.  The damn mouth sores.  Oh, yes, that's another fun thing I have to put up with.  Even water burns the blisters; they are excruciatingly painful.  Sometimes the pain is so bad all I can do is cry.

I know I have been a bear to those around me.  I am sorry; it's just I am having a very hard time dealing with this crap.  I think my poor husband and kids have gotten it the worst.  All I want is for people to leave me alone, so I can lie in bed and wallow in my self pity.  I am so miserable it isn't funny!

THEN I see my friends whenever I go out (mostly to the hospital or to the doctor's office for my treatments; I have two weeks worth of treatments, then a two week break, then it repeats itself), and I'm embarrassed to show myself in public.  A lot of my friends have their hair and I'm as bald as a rock.  I have to cover my head or wear a scarf because people will take pity upon me.  I already feel bad enough; I certainly don't need their help!!

I would get a wig, but to me, wigs look fake, ugly, cheap.  I would rather show my pale, bald crown to the world than to cover my head with a rug!  I guess I'm caught betwen a rock and a hard place.  I want to cover my head, but not to the expense of looking cheap!  So what is a cancer patient like me to do??

I'm open to any (and all) ideas!

~To be continued.~