__________________________________________________________________

Consulting the glossary,

“inside the vulva it’s called…”

pointing to the cutaway,

“…a vagina.

And when the male’s penis…”

Oh, God! Hesitating,

inhaling,

exhaling,

“when the male’s penis,”

the father’s hand covering his eyes,

"is in the female’s vagina,

it’s what’s called…”

Fucking, the boy thought.

“Intercourse.” The father said.

______________________________________________________________

                                    Sex Ed 5: Circa 1944

Having heard the ‘fuck’ word.

Having seen crude,

‘eight pager’ drawings

drawn by older boys.

Though having no

concept of intercourse,

when hearing:

“when the male’s penis,”

is in the female’s vagina,

it’s what’s called…”

Fucking, the boy thought.

The boy, seemingly, accepting this,

grinding the cigarette into the

now near overflowing ashtray.

Elbow on the table,

crooking his arm,

covering his brow,

hiding his eyes with his hand,

speaking without looking up,

“When a male and female come together,

uh…” searching for a word, “ ‘sexually’,

it’s called intercourse and the male,

kind of,

lays on top of the female and,

uh,

puts his penis into the female’s…”

looking for the word…

“ ‘vagina’ and they both,

uh,

kind of move up and down

till the male has what’s called…”

Stopping,

stalling,

pretending to look for a pre-marked page.

“Yes!”

Glancing at his son,

then gazing downward again.

“When the male is laying on top of the female

and has his penis in the female’s vagina…”

speaking quickly, taking a deep breath,

“and the two of them are,

uh, moving up and down,

pretty soon the male has what’s called an…”

Reading directly from ‘The Joy of Sex’.

“ ‘Ejaculation: a sudden ejection of fluid’.”

Interest piqued once again,

“ ‘Ejaculation of fluid’?”

The boy questioned.

“Yes, it’ll, uh,

it’ll come…”

Oh, God!!!

“When a man, uh, male…”

Becoming flustered,

then becoming even more flustered,

“Let’s call them a man and a woman now.

When a man has intercourse with a woman,

he’ll, uh, pretty soon a,

uh, kind of a liquid;

you know what ‘liquid’ is?”

“Like the stuff Uncle Mortie drinks?”

“No,” laughing for the first time

since the start of this conversation.

“Uncle Mortie’s stuff is ‘liquor’.

Liquid is…water is a liquid;

only the liquid that comes

from a man’s penis then,

uh, then, while he’s having,

uh, intercourse.”

Looking at the book again,

“When he, uh,

‘ejaculates’ the liquid is much thicker

and then it’s called…”

Eyes still hidden,

still studying the book,

“and then it’s called ‘semen’.”           

Anticipating the question,

“No!

Not like a ‘sailor’!

Semen is a very thick liquid

and when the semen goes into

a woman’s vagina it…”

Recently having discovered

what to do with his ‘boner’,

Semen, the boy thinks,

that’s the white, gooey stuff

that squirts outta me.

The father going on:

“When the semen goes into

a woman’s vagina it…”

pointing to the black-line

cutaway drawing

of the fallopian tubes,

“mixes with an egg.”

“ ‘Egg’?”

This,

the father most definitely should have

anticipated!

“ ‘Egg’?”

Attempting to hold back laughter because,

first,

the boy was relieved to know that

that ‘white, gooey stuff’ was normal.

Second:

“ ‘Egg’?

Girl’s got em’in’em,

like a chicken?”

But couldn’t hold back

and began to laugh.

“Yes, ‘egg’!

No!

Not ‘like a chicken’,

like a female!

Stop!”

Holding his hand up,

palm forward,

“Don’t ask any more questions!

Listen! Just listen!”

“But, Dad, it’s so funny!”

“No!”

His forefinger

in front of his lips,

“Shhh!”

In desperate need of a cigarette,

the father lit another.

“When the man has his…”

His eyes on the open page,

“When the man ‘ejaculates’,”

finding the right words,

“his ‘semen’ has what’s called ‘sperm’

and they look like…”

Turning to another pre-marked page,

the eraser touching…

“They look like fish with curly tails.”

“Yes, I know

‘they look like fish with curly tails’.”

Staring at the boy,

“Just listen!”

Said tiredly,  

“Please, just listen.”

Drawing deeply on the cigarette,

“When the man’s sperm

reaches the woman’s egg

It, uh…”

knowing where this will go,

“fertilizes it, and…”

Not disappointed.

“Like when Joe

puts smelly horse poop on the grass

to make it grow.”

Staring at his son,

“Yes.” said quietly,

“It's not 'smelly horse poop',

but I suppose it’s like that, in a way.”

Smoke streaming from both nostrils,

“Anyway, after the sperm…”

“The little fish?”

 Eyes cast downward again, 

 “Yes,”

biting his lip to help

control his frustration,

“ ‘the little fish’.

Anyway…”

Wanting, more than anything,

to have this over with.

“after the sperm fertilizes the egg,”

Pausing,

waiting for a question,

giggle or a laugh.

When none comes,

“after the sperm fertilizes the egg,

it stays in the woman’s…”

Looking at the book again,

turning a few pages,

“it stays in the woman’s

womb for nine months.”

“Room?”

Sighing, “No ‘womb’.”

“ ‘Womb’?”

“Yes, ‘womb’!

The fertilized egg stays in the woman’s ‘womb’

for nine months growing into a baby.”

“ ‘A baby’?”

“Yes, ‘A baby’!

And that’s why I want to tell

you about all this stuff,

because your mother,

uh, your mother and me,

we’re going to have a baby.”

“You’n’mom are going to have a baby?”

“Yes. You’re going to be a big brother.”

The father watching upward curling cigarette smoke.

The boy quiet.

Contemplating:

We’re going to have a baby.

Contemplating:

You’re going to be a big brother.

After a number of prolonged seconds,

“So,” the father asked,

“what are you thinking?

What have you to say about this?”

“You’n’mom?”

Absolutely unable to visualize

his parents doing ‘intercourse’.

“You don’t do this yucky stuff!

Do you?”

“Ask your mother.”

                                              End