Things remain about the same.  No real big changes to my situation, and if it deosn't stop soon, it might just as well put me into an early grave ...

Beatrice, my younger sister, just got out of the hospital AGAIN.  This time it was for her shingles acting up as well as her breathing/heart issues.  Thought for a while she was gonna buy the farm, but somehow, some way, God let her live and she's now back home, where she belongs.

Yet the question remains: does she really??  

My whole life is consumed with her care.  I am with her 24/7, and it's as if my entire family have become stangers: I hardly see them.  I know my husband is upset with me because we haven't had real good sex in so long and he's angry with me because I hardly talk with him anymore about things that are bothering me.  It's really bad.

I wish my kids could see what Bea's health is doing to me and my life.  They hardly ever call and they don't even offer to help me out, to where I could use a well deserve break.  I haven't had a vacation in so long and I'm getting desperate to escape my life at a moment's notice.  I get mad at my friends who are on Facebook because they talk about their vacations or what they have done (with pictures included!) and I get so jealous I can't stand it much longer!!

Bea weighs over five hundred pounds now.  She's gained so much weight.  Don't know if it's due to the fluid in her body or what, but she's definitely bigger than she was, which only compromises her breathing/heart issues.  Two months back, she had a breathing spell that was so bad an ambulance had to be called.  She stopped breathing; paramedics were able to bring her back from that one.  Scared the holy hell out of me; thought she was going to be a goner!

If things don't change soon for me (or for my sister), I'm going to have to do something drastic or she will surely kill me; the stress Bea is putting me under is monumental!  It's absolutely unreal!

~To be continued.~