Today our son, Haden Jacob Daniel, would have been 12 years old.  

He didn't make it.

Last winter (around February), he became very sick.  At first, we assumed that it was nothing but the cold that was going around, but then he rapidly grew worse only days later.  He couldn't get his breath, and his temperature soared to over 105 degrees.  We knew it was no ordinary cold, so we called for an ambulance, where Haden was then rushed to a nearby hospital.

Only a day later, he died when his heart stopped.  No matter what they did, the doctors or nurses couldn't save our son.  He was too sick.

It was the worst moment of our lives.  A litle over a year later, we still grieve the loss of our son.  The pain is slowly becoming less and less severe as each day goes by, but today, the pain has returned with a vengeance.  Today was his birthday.  As I said, today he would have been twelve years old and starting sixth grade in the fall (next month).

We miss him terribly.  There is a hole in all of our hearts that can never be repaired.  It seems that today all we have done is cry.  

Haden was a wonderful kid.  Smart, good-looking (he inherited my husband Avrem's good dark looks), fairly short (he got that from me and my side of the family), and full of life.  He loved pulling (friendly) pranks on people, anything for a laugh.  He loved playing baseball and soccer; he was proven to be a gifted athlete.

Haden loved the Lord.  He became saved two years ago at church camp.  Church brought extra special joy into his life.  Whether it was witnessing to his friends about Jesus Christ, singing in the children's choir, or worshiping the Lord with all his heart and soul, Haden put everything he had into his relationship with the Lord.  In fact, it was our youngest son who led us, his family, to the Lord.  Because of him, we were now a complete Christian family.

We know where he is at the present time.  He is safe in the Arms of Jesus, but it doesn't make the pain of losing him a year ago any less.  We know we will be reunited one day in Heaven; until that day, we stay here on Earth and remember the highs and lows of his life, especially on a day like today.

Holidays are also difficult for our family without Haden being a part of it.  Christmas was probably THE Biggie: his favorite holiday of all time.  He loved participating in the annual Cantata at church.  He loved Hallowe'en.  Last year he dressed up as a pirate.  He made a very convincing one, even adopting the pirate swaggering walk and "Arrgh!" (his favorite joke was "What is a pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet?  Arrrrgh!"; he never tired of telling it, laughing uproariously every time he told it!)  The year before he was a green alien.  The year before that, he was Captain America.

I don't know what we are going to do with the approaching of Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, but once again, our lives will be empty.  We want our son back!  Why did he have to go away so soon?  He was too young!!  He didn't deserve to die!  He deserved to grow up!  Eleven years old is too young to go!!