Today, Kayla Denise, our daughter in Heaven, would have been six years old.

Kayla died four years ago when she was two.  She died from pneumonia and other complications.  We were with her when she died; it was probably the worst moment of our lives.  We miss her more now than we ever did; it is going to take time to get over it (but we probably never will).

Kayla was born with brain damage and CP.  She required much in the way of care; if we couldn't do it (due to our jobs), then my mother-in-law, who is a nurse, could.  She took very good care of our daughter, and Kayla loved her so much.  I took care of her as did Jana, my wife, but somehow we felt we couldn't do enough: we were so scared of making a mistake.

Kayla couldn't talk or walk; she was fed by a G-tube and was prone to spells of choking (due to her inability to swallow; she would often end up in the hospital with pneumonia or some other type of respiratory problem).  Her lungs were weak; she had to wear oxygen a lot of the time and/have physiotherapy, where Margaret (my mother-in-law, or Jana's mother) would pound on her back, chest, and sides, to help keep Kayla's lungs as clear as possible.  Even that didn't work sometimes because she'd end up getting sick anyway; the days where Kayla was in the hospital were the worst.

Then came the last time she got sick.  We honestly thought she was going to beat this latest round of pneumonia, but then one complication after another set up, and there was nothing anyone could do.  It was God's will to take our angel-girl home, where she could be with Jesus, forever and ever.

Jana or I really don't remember much of the funeral plans (or the funearl itself), but we do know we miss our daughter very, very much, especially on days like today (what would have been her sixth birthday) or on special holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July.  

Kayla was our first child.  She would have been our oldest if she were still alive.  

We have since added to our family.  We have triplet boys, and while they are a lot of fun, I feel sad that they will never know their big sister.  I know that they will probably have questions when they are older, but for now, Jana and I are enjoying our time spent with Riley, Ryder, and Reaux (pronounced "Ree-Oh").  The boys are a year and a half, almost Kayla's age when she died; they wil be two in November.  Kayla's birthday would have been today, August 17.  As I said, she would have been six.

Four years.  Seems hard to believe that Kayla has been gone that long.  Today, Jana and I will take Riley, Ryder, and Reaux to the cemetary, so we can all visit Kayla's grave and remember her as she was.  We have many happy (and many not so happy) memories of Kayla; she will forever live on in our hearts.  We will never forget her; she was certainly something special!  She taught us more about courage, hope, and faith than a whole lifetime of experiences.

Kayla, if you're listening, we just want to let you know that we love you and we hope that you share some of your birthday cake with Jesus and the angels! Have a piece for all of us!  We miss you so much!