To WEEZER with LOVE!

A family friend brought Weezer to us when he was so small that he could barely walk. With in three weeks he was back with us, this time to stay. He spent the next 15 years with us. I’d like to hope that we gave him all that he gave to us, but I know better. He truly was a family member. But to me he was at times the difference between sanity and insanity.

On the last day of his life, December 15, 1996, dying of cancer, he stood up as best he could and in a labored wattle came over to me, placed his head in my hands and collapsed. Then took his last breath. His head went back as if to look up at me one last time but it was an involuntary motion, I’m sure and his time with us came to an end with his eyes remained open. I begged him not to leave me. I told him not to leave me, “Don’t leave me, don’t do this to me Weezer!” And then for a few minutes I tried to keep him warm in my arms crying my tears on him. I didn't close his eyes until I buried him. I just couldn’t. It seemed so final.

It was two weeks before Christmas, so I placed some ornaments in his grave. Other things I included, my navy scarf and hat, some twigs that he had been chewing on that day and some ‘Bonz’ that he used to love to snack on. I wrapped him and my gifts to him in a warm blanket, covered him gently and prayed over him. When I filled in his grave with soil, I wanted to open it up so I could hold him one more time. But I didn't. He had suffered enough.

Something happened to me when I lost my Weezer. It's terrible. It’s hard to explain; I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a child. How do you survive? How do you go on, how do you deal with the memories and the grief. No wonder the body gets old. I don’t know how many types or causes of Dementia there are, but I sometimes feel like I know of one kind. There’s not too many days that the thought of him isn’t part of my day. Your loyal companion, Dominic.................

Dominic Caruso. © July 12, 2000.