Whew!

I will be so glad when this day is over!  Somehow I managed to keep from getting discovered and carved up into Thanksgiving-sized morsels!

The name's Thurmond.  Thurmond Thaddeus Turkey.  I am ... you guessed it ... a turkey.  I am a cousin to Tom who has written in here before.  I am a white turkey and a rather fine looking Bird, if I do say so myself.

I live in an undisclosed location.  The location is kept secret because I don't want any Humans looking for my happy turkey ass and end up getting stuffed!!  So it's best not to divulge TOO much in the way of information!

This is a very bad time for all us turkeys.  We see or hear reminders about Our Kind getting stuffed and being surrounded by friends and cranberries and it's more than enough to tie our wattles into knots!!  Durn Savages!!  I don't know what's on their sick little minds, but couldn't they eat something ELSE for Thanksgiving ... like, for instance, HAM? Beef?  CHICKEN??  What's so special about us TURKEYS anyway that make Humans drool with delight??

I've never tasted myself, so I don't know HOW I taste!

And Lord knows, I plan on staying out of the oven for as long as possible!  There is no way on God's green earth that I am gonna end up carved up on some dang-idjit Human's table come Thanksgiving morn!

I must have done something right 'cause I'm still here, which is a bona-fide miracle! (Thank You, God!  That's one thing I have to be thankful for!  I'm still ALIVE!)

I plan on hiding out in my den and sleep the day away.  Ain't NO way I'm even gonna THINK of venturing out today!  Too risky!  So while you Human Savages enjoy feasting with family, think of us turkeys and think about how WE feel about this holiday!!  Just the thought of y'all eating on us turkeys is enough to throw us into a year-long depression!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

~Thurmond T. Turkey.

... And it ain't over.  We turkeys also have to worry about.  ... CHRISTMAS!! O, the indignity of it all!!  It ain't safe for us until ... JANUARY!!