"Tweet and Retweet were sitting on a fence, Tweet fell off, who was left?"

"Santa gained too much weight and couldn't make it down the chimney, so he came through the front door, bopped him in the dark, didn't see the red suit."

"The most important book for a writer to read cover to cover is Webster's International Dictionary."

"I went carolling to my ex-girfriends house, just to be nice, and she called 991 saying I was a stalker."

"My oldest teen one year tried to sit on the lap of a mall santa and they called security."

"The Holiday, Christmas, Kwanzza, Hunnakh, Ramadon, Vegitarian, Organic party had to be cancelled because it all couldn't fit on the invitation."

"Empathy is required to be a good writer, to be a great writer requires empathy without judging."

"So many Holiday parties this year have been financed by Mary Jane Gardens."

 "Good critiques one cent, good solutions a whole dollar."

"I understand most things, it is people I have trouble with."

"Aging is when the kids are grown up and out and you say what the hell lets just get the aritifical tree and a big bottle of cognac."

"I carry around a notebook and pen because my best ideas are only on loan to my brain for a few seconds"

"The problem with writing long pieces is that I broaden my mind but my butt also follows."

"If I heard reindeer on my roof I am reaching for my gun."


"You will never see anyone in a meeting admit that they are wrong."

"The sweetest thing I remember seeing was grandma and grandad go upstairs early on Christmas eve with a bottle of wine."

"Some days I feel like giving up but most times I don't have the energy."

"Bullies ought to be jailed."

"I told everyone that I wanted nothing for Christmas one year and they took me at my word. Didn't make that mistake again."

"Reality is much over-rated."

"Some days reality is so bad I write poems as an act of revenge."

"In California, there is no snow by the ocean, so we drive to the mountains, have a big snowball fight and then drive right back."


"Growing older like looking in the mirror each morning and believing that some one has been sleeping on your face during the night."

"One year the tree was so heavy with ornaments it collasped."

 "My problem with food is that I can only eat a little."

"The problem with my first novel was I discovered parts of my self I didn't like, so I kept writing novels as a form of self-improvement."

"I wonder if Santa has polar ice cap insurance"


"Starting a novel is the act of walking up to the ocean with a teaspoon with the intent to empty it."

"My kids professed a deep belief in Santa for years just for the presents, and I pretended to believe them, just for the presents."

"Good writing is the ability to flow, great writing is the ability to self-edit."

"Imagination is the highest form of empathy. Empathy is the ability to place one's self inside the skin of the other without judging."

"Some days I wonder if I have lost my sense of wonder and on those days I feel lost. But today is not one of those days."

"The greatest source of misery among the young is trying to live up to the expectations of the old."

"The saddest thing in the world is to watch someone profess love for the other and to see the other feed it to their ego."

"Have to stop tweeting now, am getting a craving for bird seed."

"The fact of the matter is that for years I have kept losing and re-gaining the same five pounds- ok 10 pounds."

"I was rich, I was famous, I was happy, I was somebody, and then somebody said "cut."

"I knew there was trouble this morning when I woke up and could not find my head."

"If you feel like a failure, stop that and sit up straight."

"Happiness is the ability not to be intimidated by reality."

"My problem was falling in love with individuals whom I could not see could not love me back."

"War is the inability to tolerate peace."

"Don't give up on your parents; give them some love even if they don't deserve it. Have to have some love to give some love to somebody else."

"Nothing important gets done in the world until some one decides to give another person a hand."

"Lets face it wall street has made money the only thing that matters; we know this because no one will tear up a dollar bill.

“Some days all I hope for is hope.

"My grandmother used to say 'If you're not laughing you are crying inside or worse numb-better to giggle a little."

"My biggest problem is that I always think I am smarter than I am, but too dumb to realize that."

"Remember if you are alive today you are not just a survivor, you are a hero/heroine."

"A good novel begins with understanding pain, feeling pain and surviving it, then you can write it down.

”Shocking is the realization that the other is in love with the idea of you as much as being in love with you--but which will endure?"

"When I decided to become a writer I realized I had to also write poetry because poetry often supplies the vision a writer needs."

"Innocent fun is often the first casualty of those who wish to impose their unhappiness upon others."

 "Growth is life is directly related to falling in love whole-heartedly with someone or some thing even if unrequited. It makes you grow."

"Many times one must invisibly give up the determination to be right, for love, peace and progress in relationships."

"To adopt a goal is to adopt a path and the path will determine who you travel through life with and this will determine your happiness."

"To be good at anything is to be misunderstood, sometimes lonely, and sometimes the object of ridicule; so don't stop."

"Good poets rhyme, great poets tweet like the canary in the literary coal mine."

 "Recovering from being wrong without hatred or excuses or being intimidated is the mark of character."

"Lying to one's self is the most difficult of all the diseases to cure."

"The most difficult illusion to dispel is the one where we secretly believe that we really are better than most people."

"The problem with the world today is that it keeps telling me that the problem with the world is me. Not."

 "It is not just that the world is crazy, it is that the crazies are in charge of the world."

"The depressed downer-personality suspects that somewhere some one is having fun and wants you to feel guilty about that."

"Happiness is often dumb luck, unhappiness is self-inflicted."

"There is no such thing as an individual, we are all made-up of those who have loved, us, encouraged us and rescued us."

"To have to admit your parents were right about anything is really tough, but is the only way to grow up."

"To be in command of the facts is to be a general of the past."

 
" Those without a clue soon develop the habit of sounding very, very sure of themselves."

"The problem with tweeting at 140 characters is that it really cuts into my rambling."

“Backspace, delete, Esc and Control Alt Delete, are the names of my children-my literary children."

"One day I was feeling sorry for my self but had to stop--I wasn't very good at it, and besides, it felt insincere."

"The problem with being right sometimes is that it is never permanent: but unfortunately others don't recognize this."

"In murder mysteries no one ever guesses who the real murderer is. I am always shouting out the plain truth: It is the author!"

"Committed murder today, one of my characters was getting on my nerves, best of all I got to blame it on somebody else."

 "Nothing tests the character of a writer more than a character who is totally out of control and has taken over the book."

"As a child I had an imaginary friend, as a writer I have imaginary girlfriends."

"Great writing requires the capacity to be someone whom you are not, and don't necessarily agree with."

"A good writer depicts, a great writer exaggerates convincingly."

"A good writer writes to express him/her self. A great writer writes impersonating others so as to hide his/her mistakes in life."

  "Failure is life's way of redirecting your mind from doing the same thing over and over again."

”Active listening is the honest person's way of learning and is in itself an act of courage."

"If your truth is a light, let it shine, if it is a hammer, put it back in the toolbox."


Season's Tweetings to One and All!