From the Very Apropos Series

by

Jake Taylor

Downstairs

Jack:                “Manny, doesn’t ‘downstairs’ refer to the ground floor?”

Manny:             “Yes, although in general it refers to floors that are at a lower height. Why do you ask?”

Jack:                “Well, I have a friend who had heart surgery recently and used the term downstairs that’s all. But I couldn’t quite understand what he meant.”

Manny:             “What type of heart surgery did he have?”

Jack:                “He had a double bypass.”

Manny:             “Where did he have this surgery?”

Jack:                “At the hospital.”

Manny:             “Of course! I am asking about the name of the place, the city, the town.”

Jack:                “Oh, in Miami, in the VA hospital.”

Manny:             “How is he doing?”

Jack:                “Pretty good, he is recovering very fast.”

Manny:             “Did he have any complications?”

Jack:                “No, he just had a lot of vivid dreams.”

Manny:             “What type of vivid dreams?”

Jack:                “Very lucid.”

Manny:             “Can you give me an example?”

Jack:                “I can give you various. He clearly saw a puppet that looked like a tiny Gaucho, you know the cowboys from Argentina. The puppet had blue jeans, white shirt, mustache, a hat and did not measure more than two feet in height. He also saw people delivering soda pops and other refreshments across the hall from him.”

Manny:             “Soda pops by an Intensive-Care Unit?”

Jack:                “Yes, he also thought it rather strange for an ICU to be next, and opened to, the refreshment aisle, but that’s what he saw.”

Manny:             “Were there in fact people delivering refreshments and appetizers?”

Jack:                “Apparently not, because the scene would change from time to time. Slowly the area became another ICU, with monitors and everything.”

Manny:             “Oh, I see, he was hallucinating.”

Jack:                “He was not hallucinating, he was seeing things.”

Manny:             “Did he see anything else?”

Jack:                “Yes, he saw a lady that befriended him and invited him to an opera-like spectacle that was going to take place next to the ICU where he was. The really strange thing happened when he ran into the lady again and noticed that she had shaved one half of her left eyebrow and had put a small piece of bacon there. He also noticed that her makeup was completely made up of cheese. It was really strange.”

Manny:             “Your friend was hallucinating all right.”

Jack:                “I don’t know, but he said that after his surgery he also saw groups of physicians making their rounds and a couple of doctors stopped by to check on him. The main doctor had a white beard and seemed to glow with a greenish light. In any event, the doctor lifted his abdomen as if it were the hood of a car. He then proceeded to remove a threaded bolt with a nut which he disposed of by throwing them away, and then simply lowered my friend’s belly back to where it belongs. Immediately, my friend opened his eyes, but didn’t see anything other than the little Gaucho-like puppet.”

Manny:             “He was having lucid dreams or hallucinations caused by the anesthesia.”

Jack:                “Maybe so… I asked him what he remembered prior to the operation and he said he remembered a nurse taking him into an elevator and telling him that she was going to shave him downstairs.”

Manny:             “Did she shave him?”

Jack:                “Oh yes, she did, and that’s when my friend discovered that the word ‘downstairs’ has other meanings.”

© Jacob A. J. Taylor 2011