January 15, 2012, Washington, D.C.~ 

Dear Journal~

Howdy, y'all!  Blondelle R'ique' Hawkins here!  Hope this finds y'all well and happy!  Me, I'm doing; if it were not for the mercy and grace of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, I don't know how I could have possibly survived the past few years ...

First the bad news.

I lost one of my brothers (Quinton Erique') to a drug deal gone bad; he had gotten in the way between a gunfire battle between two druggies and he was shot, right in the head.  He died almost instantly.  That happened two years ago, in 2010.  I still can't believe that Quint is gone; it seems like a bad nightmare that I can't wake up from.

Quinton was only 23.  I miss him more than you can ever begin to imagine ...

My Daddy and Mamma are still alive, but Mamma has the beginning signs of Parkinson's disease.  Her hands shake uncontrollably, plus she is getting slower in her walking.  Daddy got concerned, so he took Mamma to the doctor; the doctor, in kind, diagnosed her with the early signs of Parkinson's disease. I know Parkinson's will get worse over time, but it still bothers me that my mother has a problem that is beyond her control.

Daddy and Mamma have always had a very strong, loving relationship; they are very close with one another.

I know the Lord will get me through these trials (and He HAS!), but some days it is all I can do to keep from crying and or giving up.  

I am still working at Cracker Barrel, where I am a server.  I still want to go to school, but right now, I don't see it happening.  Some days I am lucky if I make more than $25.00/30.00 per shift: some people just don't seem to want to tip me.

That is okay, but they forget that we servers have to make a living too and doing this as our job is our way of trying to forge ahead in life.  And some people don't have a choice because it seems the better, higher-paying jobs are already taken.

I want to become a singer; I want to sing gospel music.  The Lord put this upon my heart when I was a little girl and last year when I tried out for America's Got Talent, I didn't even make the cut.  I was so disappointed I cried, but I know the Lord has something better in store for me.  I just have to continue trusting in Him and believing for that big break in my singing.

I am happy to say that my baby brother Tyvarial Manuel (18) has kept his nose clean from drugs for the past year; he had gone to rehab and is currently working at a convenience store.  He is making his own money and is learning about responsibility.  I am extremely proud of him.  He is also going to church with me most Sunday mornings and has since accepted Christ as his Saviour.

My other brother LaShawn George (also 18; he and Ty are twins) is still at home; he was working in sanitation, but he couldn't take the smells or the backbreaking work; he is looking for a different line of work.  I pray he finds something soon; I know he is miserable staying at home all the time.  He would love to go to college as well, but as a whole, our family isn't exactly rich.  We live in the projects, in government-funded housing and our area ain't exactly the best.

So that is what is new here.  

The weather has been cold: in fact, they're calling for increasing clouds tomorrow, then rain from tomorrow night until Tuesday night, then clearing; highs in the 30's, then warming up to the 50's or even 60's by week's end.  We've had snow this winter, but nothing like three years ago when we had "The Snowpacolypse".  

Gosh, has it been that long already?? Unbelievable!!

Well, I am going to get ready to go to church (service tonight at 7; I'm singing on the worship team and I should have already left! LOL), so I will let you go.  Until later, this is Blondelle Hawkins saying so long; may God bless you as much as He's been blessing me these past few years!

~Love in Christ, your friend in Washington D.C., Blondelle. :)