Nashville, Tennessee, 5:02 p.m., C.S.T., Vanderbilt Children's Hospital~
Dear Journal~
Faye B. Emerson here. Hope this finds you well. As for me, I could be better ...
Nicholas is in the hospital again. Pneumonia. Both lungs. He is currently in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, where he is being closely monitored and cared for by a dedicated staff who want him to get better almost as much as I do. He went into the hospital the other day; I haven't left his side much, for fear that if I do, something will happen ...
Thank God, Trent and his mother are at home, taking care of Ellen and Renate. I know they are upset about their little brother being in the hospital, especially since tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I have reminded Trent to let the girls have their Valentine's Day parties (and not to forget their cards), but I can tell that they are scared for Nicholas.
The doctors think that Nicholas will be okay (as I caught the pneumonia in time), but when a child is as handicapped as Nicholas is, one cannot be too careful. Nicholas can be bursting with health one minute and the next, he is fighting for life. His immune system is that compromized and with the wishy-washy, ever-changing weather patterns we have had lately here in Nashville, it's a wonder that Nicholas hasn't gotten sick sooner.
Nicholas has managed to escape every bug that's hit the area, but then a nasty little viral pneumonia germ got into his lungs, and there you go. An instant trip to the ER because Nicholas couldn't draw in breath and spiked a terribly high fever (104). He was immediately admitted and rushed up to the PICU, where he still remains.
Up until now, Nicholas has had a fairly uneventful fall and winter; it was his longest period of good health in quite some time. We were just getting used to his not needing to go to the doctor's every week or having to call an ambulance because he choked (aspirated) or had trouble breathing. It was rather nice and Nicholas seemed to enjoy it as much as we did. He smiled and laughed a lot more and life was calm, serene.
It seems we're back to square one all over again and I am left feeling nothing but very irritated and frustrated.
This is when I wish Nicholas didn't have this damned Canavan's disease because it's done nothing but threaten to rip our family apart and take him away. Nicholas has always been a little fighter and I am hoping and praying that he will beat this latest crisis. He's done it before; I am sure he'll emerge on the winning side; after all, I did catch it early, before things really got hairy!
The weather today matches my mood: grey, cold, and threatening snow (or rain). We could get sleet and snow later tonight; in fact the local weather office is calling for 80% probability of winter precipitation, which could make some of the roads slick and hazardous for tomorrow's commute before it changes to all rain. Lovely. At least I'm here at the hospital; I don't have to worry so much, but I do have to worry about Trent because he has to take the girls to school tomorrow. I pray and hope that they will be safe when they go out on the road ...
Well, the alarm is going off; someone is in trouble here in the PICU. I pray and hope it's not Nicholas; I don't know what I would do if it was him ... nope, it's the room beside his; Nicholas is in PICU Room #321; the Code Blue call is for PICU Room #322. Still, too close; I pray and hope the flurry of activity doesn't interfere with Nicholas's own monitor outputs because right now everything is looking stable .... I will have to say a prayer for the little one next door to my son; pray that she will be okay ...
Take care and God bless; say some prayers for my son, but especially for his roommate next door; she's the one who could really use them now ... also pray for the little girl's family ...
~Faye B. :(
