Barrow, Alaska, Feb. 24, 2012, 5:25 p.m., Alaska Time~
Just got home from work; am worn to the bone. Worked 12 hours today, from five thirty a.m. until just about ten minutes ago. Been a very long day; glad the weekend is almost here! Off tomorrow and Sunday; plan on doing one thing: sleeping in!!
I hate dealing with the custormers at work. They yell at me, as if I'm at fault for raising the damned gas prices when it's nothing of my doing. If my boss wants me to change the prices, then I have to do it, no questions asked. It's beyond my control, but I am sick and tired of having to climb up the ladder to change the sign every few days (sometimes even twice a day)! I am getting ready to quit; I have had it with working at the convenience store!
If the boss wants the damned prices changed, then let someone else do it, or let HIM do it by himself!!
I need something more quiet. I'd like to get back to factory work if I can. I miss the set routine and using my hands! And I don't have to keep dealing with rude people like I do at my current job!
I have worked the past two weekends: I haven't had a day off work in two weeks. If Kadir calls me in to work tomorrow, I'll tell 'em I've died. I gotta get some rest!! I'm so exhausted I'm ready to collapse!
There's other guys at the store who can work in my place. I have had more than enough of my stupid job! Yeah, it pays the bills, but why should I wreck my physical and mental health, just so the stupid gas companies can rake in yet more record profits and screw the average consumer like they do??
Everything is going up in price excepting for the paycheck!
The weather is bitterly cold here: probably won't see flowers or growth (what little we have up here, anyway) until at least May: still have two months of winter/cold/snow to go yet. The days are just starting to get longer, but nothing else has really changed. Still see the northern rainbow just about every night if the sky is clear and try to get some hunting in, so I can get some food on the table, or go to the local store if I can't kill anything (seal mostly, sometimes rabbit or ptarmigan).
What I wouldn't give for some nice, fat elk, caribou, or polar bear meat ....I haven't had any of that since I don't know when!
Ever since my baby sister Sikik died on November 16, 2008, over 3 years ago, my life has been full of sadness. I see her dancing among the northern lights and I get depressed. I still miss her as much as I did on the day she died; it doesn't seem fair that Sikik had to suffer so much towards the end. I swear the spirit-gods are angry at me for something; as to what, I am still trying to figure that one out.
I haven't stolen anything or cheated anybody. I haven't killed any people or gossiped or lied habitually. I've just kept to myself or worked hard at the convenience store or hunted once in a while. That's it. My life is not very exciting: one day is nearly identical to the one preceding it, and the following day will probably be like the current one.
I wish Sikik were still here: I always had someone to talk to, and she was a lot of fun, full of spunk, energy, and laughter, before MS robbed her of all that. I miss her so much it isn't funny!
Well, I am exhausted, as I mentioned earlier; I can barely keep my eyes open, even though it's not even six o'clock in the evening: still very late afternoon here on the tundra. Think I am going to retire for the night and pray to the spirits that Kadir doesn't call me in like he's done lately! Also have to work up the courage to tell him that I am thinking of quitting the store; I have had it past my eyebrows with rude customers and having to change the stupid gas price sign so often, only to have these customers yell at me some more!
Take care and may the Great Spirit bless you! Just pray to your spirit-god and ask him to give me a break; I am tired of how things are going!
~Mattaq.
