If you think things have gotten any better, think again.  If anything, things have remained the same or gotten worse in some aspects.

People continue to judge me whenever I go anywhere.  They say I look fine.  Well, maybe I do, but I don't FEEL fine.  I feel as if I have been used as a personal punching bag.  My body HURTS.  I'm not just talking minor aches and pains like when someone gets a headache or a pulled muscle once in a while: I'm talking severe, unrelenting, ongoing pain that never lets up!  

I hurt everywhere.  My shoulders.  Neck.  Back.  Hips.  Knees.  Feet.   Wrists.  Fingers.  Elbows.  My muscles, bones, and joints all compete for attention.  There is no relief; pain meds help for a time, but the pain comes back.  It.  ALWAYS.  Comes.  Back!!!!  And oftentimes it is worse than ever before!

I try to eat the right things, to see if that will help, or get the needed sleep, but the pain has me awake two or three hours later.  I am lucky if I get two to five hours of sleep a night.  

To while away the time, I play Angry Birds, Angry Animals, or Farmville on Facebook, or chat with friends.  Or I read or watch the stupid pay-for-view ads (or whatever in the hell they're called) on television.  Or if it's storming, I watch the rain, hail, or lightning as the storm rolls through.  Then I go back to bed and cry myself to sleep because I am so exhausted it isn't funny!

I have gone to more doctors than one can shake a stick at.  This doctor says this; another one says something totally different, and then I am left wondering if I should be locked up in a mental institution because then I thnk I must be going mad.  It's enough to drive me to an early grave!

Well, I'm going to see if I can get some sleep, but I wouldn't be suprised if I am back up within two hours.  You just watch: I will probably be awake by three, three thirty.    Just keep me in your prayers; I feel as if God has totally given up on me and as a result, I have lost all hope!  Thanks in advance!

~To be continued.~