I don't know why I even bother ....

Seems I get a foot in the door, only to have someone else slam it shut right on it, causing me no end of pain or misery.

I am still trying to make it in music.  Tried out for American Idol (auditions were held last year in Jackson), only to be told I "didn't have the goods" or "was too fat".  Tried out for "America's Got Talent" (auditions held in Greenville), but was told that I sounded like a "screeching barn owl".  

You can imagine how that made me feel.  Worthless.  Totally empty inside.  I'm now beginning to think that I am not good for anything; what's the point in trying out to better myself and my family when I'm repeatedly kicked to the curb time and time again?

It looks like my Grand Ole Opry Dream will never come true .  I'm just not good enough ...  I might as well go to school or find a dead end job, flipping burgers or something because it's very obvious that I am not meant to be a singer.  

Even God hates me.  If God loved me, something good would happen with my singing and I would be cutting demos or singing on a show like America's Got Talent or American Idol in front of thousands, no, millions, of people!

My family says they believe in me, but honestly, do they REALLY?  I guess they're putting on a brave face to cover up the disappointment I know they must feel.  I am ashamed of myself; I don't know why I want to be a singer, but the truth is, I do.  I DO!!  I really, really DO!!!!  I have always loved to sing, ever since I was an itty bitty girl, and I still love to sing, but lately, singing has only brought me one thing: sheer disappointment!

~To be continued.~