I am ashamed to show myself in public.

Ever since I got these darn braces (plus the retainer), I feel like such a freak!

I have extremely crooked teeth.  That's how they came in.  They gave me nothing but grief.  I got teased because of them; as a result, I don't have a very good opinion about myself.  I think I am butt ugly and would be better off living in some cave somewhere.

I don't know why I have such crooked teeth, but the truth is, I do.  I don't know where I got 'em from: my parents or my little brother (or my older sister) don't have this problem, and neither do my relatives: why, oh, why do I have to be the one that gets picked to bear this burden??

Well, I got the braces and appliance (as well as the retainer, which I wear only at night, but still: it looks like some sort of midieval torture device!) and I look uglier than ever!!  With my bright red, uncontrollable mop of Bozo-style hair, horned rimmed, Coke-bottle lensed glasses, big honker, zits from you-know-where, and freckles covering just about every square inch of my body, well .... you get the picture.  I am no Tom Cruise, let me tell you!

I'm more like Alfred E. Neumann, the guy from Mad magazine (but add glasses and braces, plus frizzy hair)!

I am sure if my friends would see me they would laugh me right off the planet!  I'm about as ugly as sin!  

They can celebrate the upcoming Fourth of July holiday without me.  I'm staying in, where I can drown my misery in pizza and soda and hide from the world!  I am not fit to be in the public eye!