Each individual is unique and irreplaceable. When I was 11 years old my school teacher announced that this statement did not apply to me. In fact, she proclaimed to a class full of highly amused kids that if they replaced me with a simple photograph of my face it was highly unlikely that anybody would be sharp enough to notice the difference.The comment received accolades from most of the spectators, though that didn’t say much about their sharpness.
The same teacher later randomly noted that I reminded her of someone stuck in an ice cube. I was so rigid, slow and uncaring abot the proceedings that I must be frozen. This joke of hers actually caused fits of hysterical laughter from my classmates. What I did not realise at the time is how correct her derisive remark had been.
I was , in fact, stuck. Stuck inside my head, which was my own self-made prison of insecurities, hesitation,fear of seeing contempt or irony in others eyes. I avoided meeting people’s gazes for more than a few seconds and not surprisingly failed to be found likable.
But if there were ever any good enough reasons to feel insecure, just name them – I had it all. Skin problems a.k.a. acne, terrible eyesight, which meant glasses, weirdly positioned teeth, which later resulted in braces. Not to mention a too large nose, too small mouth, ludicrous, second-hand clothes, uncontrollable, bushy, easily greasy hair, excess weight, awkward body and a voice that could hardly be considered girly. My all-time favorite was my special ability to trip on any perfectly flat surface, which also meant that I was horrible at any sports I tried and typically got picked last if there was any need to choose teammates. My sport skills were always a cause for general amusement. In fact, I was so unlucky that if a ball flew out of the field as a general rule it landed straight on my head. I once even got a light brain concussion that way.
I also had an impressive list of sicknesses and allergies on my resume. I skipped more school than I attended due to my fragile immune system, which didn’t miss any oppurtunity to catch whatever was trending at the moment. All it took was for someone to sneeze and I was in bed for 2 weeks.
To sum it up, I used to be the perfect, Hollywood-style loser.