I don't know what I would do if I didn't have God or my family in my life ... my life would definitely be much different, that is for sure!

My name is Becka.  I live in Seattle, Washington, with my mom and dad; I have an older brother, but he moved out two years ago to join the military.  He never came back; he was killed in action in Afghanistan last year.  I miss him so much; he was only 23 when he died.

He was shot down by enemy gunfire.  We didn't know anything about it until they came to the door to break the news.  It was a horrible time for all of us; ever since, my life (or the life of my family) hasn't been the same.  We still miss Courtland very, very much; our lives seem emptier without him.

I don't work.  I drew disability.  I have severe bi-polar illness coupled with depression.  I have never been able to handle stress all that well.  I have been undergoing counseling; it's helped a little, but I am not able to handle certain situations without panic attacks or deep depression.  It's a horrible thing to have to live with; I wouldn't wish bi-polar illness on anbydody!

I do take medications to help my moods, but at the same token, I hate how they make me feel.  They turn me into a walking zombie, but if I don't take 'em, I can turn into a mean, spiteful person, and that isn't like me at all.  It's a catch 22 situation.

I just thank God I have my family and friends to help me.  I also thank God I have God in my life.  I accepted Christ when I was a teenager and He's helped me through some horrible times in my life (such as the death of my brother and my daddy's illness last fall; he had a heart attack and nearly died).  Daddy is happily doing much better now, but like me, he can't work either, so he gets disability as well. 

Mom still works; she works two jobs to keep food on the table and the bills caught up.

We have a pretty good life, even with all that I (and we) have been through.  We owe it all to God and keeping a firm foundation in our faith.  We all go to church every Sunday (and Wednesday) and we are all involved in church activities.  I work with women who have been raped or have bi-polar illness; I want to be a mentor to them and show them that they can have a happy life, even despite it.  It's donw wonders for me as well because it helps me see that I am not alone.

Well, I have to go and eat; we are going to church in about an hour.  I will write in here again soon; until later, this is Becka saying so long; may God bless you as much as He's blessed me and my family!

~To be continued.~