If only I had a little more time .... maybe I could have prevented this from happpening.

My mother died last week and I feel as if my world has totally collapsed.  I feel as if I am in some sort of neverending nightmare and I keep hoping I will wake up to find my mother alive, but it is not to be.

My mom was killed in a home invasion.  The person responsible has yet to be caught.  My mom was shot because she refused the man to come in; he shot her point blank, right in her face.  Mom was killed instantly; she wasn't even 45 yet.  She would have been 45 on Christmas Day, December 25 of this year.

Mom leaves behind a grieving husband and three children: me (Candace, aged 15), and my sisters Cordelia (12) and Camryn Denise (9).

The funeral was this past Friday, only five days ago.  The last of the guests have since left; now the real moment of true grieving begins.

Since Mom died I or my sisters haven't been back to school, but that will change come tomorrow.  Tomorrow we head back; to tell you the honest truth, I am scared to death to go back.  I don't want to face my friends; I am sure all of them know what has happened, and I am not ready to deal with their pity or sympathy wishes right now.

I don't know why something like this had to happen, but it did, and right now I am feeling angry towards the person who shot my mom.  I don't think I could ever forgive him for what he has done to my family.  If I could see him, I would probably end up doing the same exact thing: killing him.

~To be continued.~