December 15, 2012, Nashville, Tennessee, 1:13 p.m., C.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

I sit here in the comfort of my bedroom, thinking about the horrors of yesterday.  I am left numb with shock.  My mind just cannot comprehend this senseless act of violence against innocent children (and six adults, seven if you count the gunman responsible).  All I can do is shake my head, wipe tears from my eyes, and ask: "Why, Lord?  WHY??"

A gunman burst into a teacher's classroom and started shooting.  Police are still trying to figure out the motive behind the mass killing and why Adam Lanza (the gunman) acted as he did. 

I see things like this and it makes me want to do one thing: pull my children out of public school and homeschool them; but to tell you the honest to God truth, I just don't have the time.  I work over 50 hours a week and I have to work in order to provide for our growing family.  I also have a sick father and a disabled husband to take care of, not to mention, a whole passel of children, many, of whom, have severe special needs.

All I can do is pray for their safety and hope that they can get through an entire day without incident.  I have had friends' family members shot or killed and it's enough to eat away at the soul.  I have lost children in my life, but nothing, nothing of this magnitude.  It's one of my worst nigbhtmares to find out that one (or several) children had been shot or murdered.  I don't know if I could even handle it, if it were to happen in our family.

I look at the Christmas decorations or hear the carols, but it seems that Christmas is the last thing on the minds of our nation.  All we can think about are those people who lost their lives yesterday and how our nation was rocked once again by another act of violence, and then how to go on.  For those 26 who perished, this was to be their last Christmas.  Now they will celebrate Christmas with Jesus, up in Heaven; they will have the best Christmas of all!  But their families and friends are left behind with many unanswered questions, tears, and memories.

Well, I hate to run, but I'm crying again; seems that's all I have ever done since finding about this tragedy yesterday.  I will write in here again soon; until later, this is Louisiana Sandusky signing off.  Take care and God, have mercy upon our nation once again!!

~Love, your friend in Tennessee, Louie May. :( *tears!*