Ever since we have known her, Kim Lee Phan, our daughter, has been a perfectionist.  She goes out of her way to please us ... and other people.  She is so scared of messing up and if she does, she's sure we will send her back to Vietnam.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  We love Kim Lee with all of our hearts.  We loved her ever since we first saw her photo on the Internet three years ago, when she was ten; now at the age of 13, she has turned into a stunning beauty and we love her even more now (if that is possible, but it is).

Kim Lee has always been shy and reserved.  It takes her a while to get used to people or to make new friends.  She has a gentle spirit about her and is bent on doing everything well.  We have told Kim Lee that it is okay to make mistakes, but somehow, she doesn't seem to understand the concept. 

When she does make a mistake or isn't sure, she'll look at us, tears on her face, and say: "I do right?  Kim Lee make better?"  All we can do is give her a reassuring hug and tell her that we aren't angry with her and that it is okay to fail once in a while.

Yesterday, Christmas Day, was a good example. 

Kim Lee had accidentally fallen over one of the presents left on the floor.  She was not hurt, thankfully, but she heard the sound of glass breaking. It was the glass angel that she was to have given me yesterday.  She knew she had done wrong.  She looked at me and started to cry.  She then raced to her room, her change purse in hand, and she pulled out her Christmas money.  "I pay for it", she said between sobs.  "Kim Lee bad girl; she break Mama's angel; Kim Lee go store, fix things, make right."

She looked so miserable all I could do was enfold her into my arms and hold her to my chest as she continued to cry.  I told her it was just an accident; she could get me a new angel.  Somehow Kim Lee was not to be comforted.  I felt bad for her, but I knew that she felt bad for breaking it.  I told her I was not angry with her, that she was a good girl.  Kim Lee's tears put a little damper on our Christmas celebrations, but it wasn't long before her younger brothers had her laughing once again.

I just wish there was something I could do to help Kim Lee understand that making mistakes does not make her a "bad girl".  Making mistakes or misbehaving once in a while is a normal part of childhood; kids cannot be good all of the time.  I appreciate her valient effort in trying to be the best daughter possible, but she's still technically a child turning into a young woman, and everything is still relatively new to her.

We feel incredibly blessed that this shy Asian woman-child is a part of our family.  Our family is better off in having her; we have since accepted her as a member, and I pray and hope that one day she realizes that she is loved and is an important part of our family.

~To be continued!~