This is a true story I never shared before because it is heartbreaking and very sad.

I learned about choices when I was growing up. I learned what choices I didn't want to make in my life. I also learned about choices from my first born child. She grew up and married the love of her life.

My son-in-law was a Sergeant in the Sheriffs department, they had been married for 16 years, and Matt was a motor bike officer. One day he volunteered to take another officers shift so the officer could take some personal time off.

That day as Matt came to a stop sign on a four lane street, to his left, a 16 year old female new driver didn't see him in the right lane. She did see the car next to Matt in the left lane and when that car went through the intersection she thought that car was the only one going through the intersection. She was wrong, Matt was also going through the intersection but she didn't see him. She hit him head on. He went up in the air 20 feet and had a severe head injury that killed him after two days of the doctors trying to save his life. He and my daughter had 3 children ages 7, 10, and 12 at that time.

I had never been to a funeral where 4,000 people attended. As we left the service we were guided to a walkway flanked with many officers on both side. I was forced to cover my mouth with my hand because these animal noises were coming from my mouth due to my sobbing and I found I had no control over these sounds. I was in fact shocked they were coming from me. What intensified my emotion was when I looked over at these officers and saw all of them had tears running down their cheeks and they couldn't wipe them away. They stood like statues saluting as we all walked by. If I felt like this I couldn't even imagine what my daughter must have been feeling, my guess is she was numb and still in shock from loosing her husband, her best friend.

On our way to the Cemetary, they closed the freeway to the public and as we entered the empty freeway it felt kind of eery. I looked up and could see on every bridge overpass, fire trucks lined up with firemen standing on top of these trucks and to the side of these trucks, each one Saluting.

My heart was so full at that moment and I was so very proud of my son-in -law for his service and also grateful to each of those men for their respect and love for one of their own, a fallen officer. Matt was a man who loved and served his community and a young man who would do anything for a fellow worker, friend or family member. To say he was special is an understatement.

As I sat in the limo on the way to the cemetery, I wondered why God takes the good ones early and leaves the bad guys here for so long.

It was been 10 years since Matt's death. My daughter Tammy decided to make some choices not all of us would have or could have made, and I'm including myself in this statement. She decided to put her children first. That choice meant she put all her energy and time into helping these three children be the best they could be. She chose not to even date. She felt bringing men into her life would only complicate not only her life but most important her children's lives. Therefore she didn't have to deal with a man being jealous of her children or her children being jealous of a new man in their mothers life. Her choice meant she didn't have a spouse to lean on during those rough teenage years. It also meant she had to learn to fix things in and around the house that became broken. Her son Graduated from college and is now in Seminary School in Portland seeking his Masters Degree, he will be a minister. Her middle daughter will Graduate from Nursing School in June and her youngest will be going off to College with 2 Scholarships. She also sings Opera, plays the Piano is a great Photographer and is talented in Art.

All three of these children have had challenges beyond measure. When Her son was in his first year of College it was discovered he contracted Type 1 diabetes from a virus. Her middle daughter suddenly became sick and lost 25 pounds that she couldn't really afford to lose. It was discovered when she was in High School, she had Crohn's disease. The threat of having to wear an outside bag loomed over her head. Fortunately, the great doctors at Cedars Sinai saved her life. Her sister also has huge stomach issues. All were very close to their father and I can't help but wonder sometimes if these illnesses might have something to do with the lose of their father. As a family they all grew up enjoying family vacations, camping, the river trips on the houseboat etc. with all the other law enforcement families. All things that came to a halt when their father died.

The good news is that all three of these children are thriving today and I believe in my heart this has been possible because their mother made good choices. Choices that always put her children first.

Here is the truth as painful as it is. It is rare to find a step-mother or step-father that will treat someone else's children like their own. She asked for Gods help throughout this process of raising her 3 children and he answered her prayers. She stayed true to her faith and involved her children and herself in their church and christian activities, she taught them to serve the people in their community and they served in other countries on missionary trips.

I have learned a good deal from my daughter about choices and I wanted to share with you why choices are so important to me. It's what my young parents didn't do when I was a child. They thought they were doing the best they could under difficult circumstances. Yet, they didn't have good role models or mentors to guide them. That is an advantage my daughter had. She was surrounded by great advice givers and loyal supporters, and what a difference that makes.

This is only one chapter in her life, she is still young. Now with her last child going off to college, and as her mother, I must force myself not to interfere by go out and finding her a husband like I would like to do. It's not my fault, it's in the genes. I too must be obedient and trust God will continue to guide her. After all, he has done an amazing job so far.