It's on days like this when I wish I was still married.  Things would have been far easier to handle ....

I just wish Geoff didn't cheat on me like he did.  He left me for a far better looking (not to mention, younger) woaan.  I also think that he didn't want to be a parent to our son, Owen, who was born a microcephalic child (smaller head size) and who has severe mental disabilitise.  At the age of 9, he is more like an infant, in terms of development.  He cannot walk or talk.

Thank God for my mom; she has been an angel in all of this, but she lives in Chicago, over 500 miles away.  Mostly I'm here by myself; the only break I seem to get is when Owen is in bed for the night or when he goes to his school for the day.  On weekends, I'm more or less trapped in the house all day, especially if the weather is bad.

It is not easy to have a child like Own.  I have tried to be there for him, but when a child cannot talk or do anything for himself, what can I do to help him?  How can I have him tell me what is going on with him or how can he tell me what he wants or needs??  It's a guessing game and sometimes he ends up in the hospital because of wrong decisions (or wrong medicine dosages), and then I feel like the world's worst mother.

This is when I wonder if I've made a terrible mistake in having Owen here instead of in an institution for children who are like him: severely disabled.

~To be continued!~