A embittered soldier in Afghanistan wishes for death after all that he has seen or had to go through.
Image of lightning at night taken on Christmas Day, December 25, 2012, by Karla Dorman.
I want nothing more than for death to come. For me. Maybe it will put me out of my misery ...
I have seen far too much in the way of horror since I've been here in Afghanistan. Trying to fight for our country (the United States), but somehow feel as though my hands are tied behind my back because it seems the enemy is gaining the upper hand on so many fronts.
I have seen buddies die right in front or beside me and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that I could do to help them or prevent it from happening.
I have seen little children shot, even little babies, or women beaten, raped into submission, or sodomized right in plain view; was too terrified to even try to intervene, so like a dumbass, I stood and watched helplessly, for fear of being beaten or shot myself.
What made it worse that some of the perpetrators who did the dirty deeds were some of my buddies or troop mates. So it isn't just the enemy who is doing the dirty work. Makes me ashamed that I even joined the goddamn military. I could have become an archetect just like my old man, but no .... I wanted to be a hero to my family, so I joined the Marines, in the hopes of trying to do something good for them, not to mention, America.
I cannot reveal too much for fear that this will fall into the wrong hands; I write it on the sand, then I erase it when I am through, only to have what I have written forever entrenched in my mind. Maybe one day (if I ever get out of here ... alive ... ), I will be brave enough to put what I have written in the sand (or in my mind) to paper and write a book about my experiences.
Still, death does sound like a welcome reprieve. What's the worst that can happen than to meet God face to Face?? At least the hell and agony of war would be over ....
An illustrated developmental history of the American military chemical and biological protective respirator for use against war agents, this work provides photographs of actual respirator specimens and several useful appendices, in addition to its en
I want nothing more than for death to come. For me. Maybe it will put me out of my misery ...
