Louisiana and Bill continue to deal with Matthew's severe behavioral problems and deal with a child who is dying of AIDS, in addition to their own brood, who present special challenges as well.
A Family Made Out Of Miracles And Rainbows
Part Three: Miracles, Mayhem, And More Miracles!
Chapter 11
I. Dealing With Severe Behavioral Problems And Innement Death Of A Child
No matter how hard we tried, we could not get a firm grip on Matthew's behavior. Seems that once the medications that were prescribed to him wore off, Matthew resorted right back to his old, obnoxious, uncontrollable self. It got to the point to where Bill and I were always at each other's throats about Matthew.
We were scared now more than ever for our kids, especially the vulnerable ones like Johnny, Jodie, Ronee', and Todd.
It got to the point to where we regretted taking Matthew in. Maybe it was a serious mistake on our part; we often thought of having him returned to foster care because we just couldn't deal with his antagonistic behaviors any longer.
As for Rachel, she didn't make things any easier either. She was constantly sick and often ended up in the hospital. We had very little experience with AIDS, especially AIDS in children, and it was hard trying to explain to the other children what was going on with their little foster sister and why.
II. The Older Children Take Charge!
Thank God for the older or more able-bodied members of our family! They saw the dilemma that us, their parents were in, so they offered to watch Matthew, Linn Chan, Dajun, Johnny, Ronee', and the other younger (or more disabled members) of the group. That made it so much easier on us, and that way, Bill and I could get away to clear our minds (and hear ourselves think).
The noise level at our house had reached a maddening din by this time and we were often questioning ourselves (and God) if we had done the right thing in taking in so many needy children.
III. Questions ... And Answers ...
We often spent many hours in prayer, asking God why He had chosen us, two frazzled parents, to take in children nobody else wanted: the disabled, those older than two, the chronically ill, or children who were of another race. I guess God saw how well we had handled our previous children, so He decided to test us in ways we could have never imagined.
Maybe God meant well, but at times I felt we were failing miserably. We still didn't know what to do about Matthew's uncontrollable rages or Rachel's medicine schedule or dealing with yet another run to the ER on her behalf. We were quickly headed towards the breaking point and there was no way of knowing how to stop it.
It seemed like the only solace I ever got was when the kids were in bed, asleep, or when I was at work. That way, I could throw myself into my job and try not to think about the ongoing chaos at home (that is, if we even had a home, thanks to Matthew's outbursts).
