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Henry Custer

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Happy Birthday Sharon
by Henry Custer
Monday, March 18, 2013

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

       
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     Satire on daughter's birthday from a fun loving Mom and Dad.

 Dear Sharon,

 
Back in 1952 Jody and I wanted to buy a new Chevy. We had the down payment, but our monthly income was too low to qualify for the loan. Seems we needed to make another $15.00 a month to get the car. 
 
Being a resourceful kind of guy I came up with this idea. 
 
We would report a new birth in the family, thus getting another $15.00 per month in allowances. After due deliberation, we came up with a phony name, (Sharon Lynn, taken from the local bartender at the NCO club.)
 
And, surprisingly, it worked! We got a beautiful new Chevy, (see pictures on our website for Newfoundland.)
 
Then, low and behold, two years later, here comes Jody all drunk and fertile and the real thing happens. Who could have guessed? 
 
But I had a fix for our dilemma. Just name the kid Sharon Lynn and continue the charade.
 
Now, how is that good news for you? Well, although you are only 56 years old, unfortunately your birth records show you were born in 1952, so you are really 58 this year.
 
I know that doesn't sound good; the good news is you can apply for Social Security two years earlier than expected.
 
Happy Birthday Sharon Lynn! (And you can be assured, that is most likely your real name.)
 
Love,
 
Mom and Dad
 
 

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