April 2013~

Maurice Coddington writing.  I know it's been a while; I've been depressed because it is so hard to see my once vibrant wife turn into a former shell of herself.  She has multi farct dementia; she has strokes and each time she does it just causes more damage to her already damaged brain.  It's a heartbreaking condition, almost as bad as Alzheimer's ... I wouldn't wish it on anybody, not even my own worst enemy ...

Today I saw my dear Ethel at the nursing facility where she is at and all she did was lie there and look at me ... or rather, look past me.  Her face and eyes are devoid of all expression; she looks at me as if I am a total stranger.  Or she will groan piteously.  She has gotten so thin; they're feeding her now by way of a tube they put into her stomach several weeks back; she can no longer eat on her own.  Or she has IV's to keep her hydrated.  Other than that, her vital signs remain strong; but it's her mind that's gone, not so much her body.

I brought her some flowers (Texas bluebonnets); she didn't even notice.  They sit in a vase on her table by the bed, but all she does is look only God knows where.  She no longer focuses her eyes on me or anybody else who sees her.

I wonder if I should talk to the doctors about putting her on hospice care.  Ethel isn't gonna get any better; if anything she is only going to get worse.  It may be the best thing for her and for me.  I can't stand to see her suffering like this!!

Just keep me (and Ethel) in your prayers; it's really been a rough few years for the two of us!  I love my wife with all my heart and soul, but it just stabs me to see her turning into a helpless lump!

~To be continued!~