Cancer will try to take everything it can from you. And some things you just have no control over and have to accept for what they are. But cancer cannot take what you hold true and know is true in your heart. And it never will. – Chris Drouillard
Chris Drouillard was just 40 years old when he received the diagnosis of his cancer, a stage 4 High Grade Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma. Chris himself said of this disease with its difficult words to pronounce “it sounds scarier than it is” but then with a smile he quickly added “I think”…
Chris was a devoted husband and proud father of three. Chris was quite successful in his profession as a salesperson, and he coached youth sports at an elementary level for 17 years. Chris had a list of friends a mile long. He was loved by all and being the youngest of nine children this certainly included his parents and eight siblings. As Chris told it “I am fortunate to have been born into a big loving family with a mother and father who provided me with endless unconditional love and everything that I could ever ask for or need. I am fortunate that I made great friends throughout grade school and high school - many that are still my great friends today. I am fortunate that a beautiful young girl (with an even more beautiful heart and soul) wandered into my front yard one day and ask for a ride in my dad's convertible (thanks dad for letting me drive that car) and since has been my very best friend and the love of my life. I am fortunate to have the three most incredible children who are healthy, so full of life, and mean absolutely everything to me. I am fortunate to work for a company that not only makes the "finest" Italian cheese, but has the "finest" world class people that I am so lucky to be associated with. I am fortunate to have all of you - my family and my friends in my corner and pulling for me.”
Chris was just a good, decent, hardworking, soft spoken man. He also became a very prayerful man especially through his illness. In his last days He composed many prayers such as this as he selflessly aimed his heart on what he thought was most important in life…
God and Mary – Thank you so much for this day and everything you have given our family. We are blessed to have been born into the families that we have been born into – given the advantages that we have been given – the lives that we are to lead. Let us never forget what we have been given – and remember that it is our duty to provide service to others to pay forward the good graces that we have received. Let our lives be defined by our commitment to serving each other and those in need around us. Amen.
In the days that followed his prognosis as Chris, his wife and children began to deal with his cancer, many of us family and friends knew we would have to be supportive and do all we could to ease his pain and tend to his mounting needs. Little did we realize that through this challeging ordeal Chris would turn the tables on us all and He would be the one playing the supportive role.
He was such an inspiration and carried on with his head high throughout his infliction. Still the news of his cancer hit us all like a sucker punch to the stomach. It was the most woeful of times to the many who loved him dearly. But the young man was special and few complaints were ever heard from his lips. Early on in treatments he told me “At this point there is no sense in looking back” and then after a pause, and with a little added humor “or too far ahead”.
The clock did move forward and all of soon discovered that cancer has a way of taking over the lives of its victims. In Chris’s journal he reflected “it's hard to believe that it's only been a little over 2 months since I found out that I have cancer. On some levels, it seems like time has been moving pretty fast, but at the same time, it seems like it should be longer than that since I've known, as it's hard to remember what I felt like before all this happened.”
As the weeks passed by Chris’s only regrets seemed to be that the cancer was tearing up the lives of the people he loved so dearly. He seldom thought of his own pain and suffering. Thinking of his family and friends he vowed to fight his disease so that those around him would not have to agonize with the pain of watching him succumb to a rare form of cancer that was termed incurable.
With each of his surgeries and treatments Chris began to pray more and more. His many prayers he continued to share with us “I still thank God for everything we have – and I ask him not to cure me – but for strength. I ask for strength for all of us to fight this battle and strength for all of us to accept his will whatever it maybe.”
Perhaps the greatest prayer he shared was this beautiful verse; God and Mary – We ask that you strengthen our faith and trust in the Will of God – and gives us the strength to accept it whatever it may be. Like Jesus in garden on the night before his death – let us never put our own will in front of the Will of God. Each day – we get a chance to live out our lives in whatever manner we choose – that is the grace of free will given to us by God. But some things are beyond our control and part of God’s plan too. Faith and trust – in God and each other – can get us through anything. Let our lives be directed by undeterred Faith. Amen
While Chris was praying prayers of acceptance of God’s Divine Will, the rest of us were going at a different angle and praying for a miracle. The bad days were soon out numbering the days with good news and all of us were stuck on the fact Chris has an incurable form of cancer. But Chris himself didn’t pray for that miracle unless it was the Father’s will, nor did he dwell on a fate at the hands of a disease deemed incurable.
“Incurable” Chris would assure us “was what people used to say about breast cancer not too long ago. ‘Incurable’ is what they said about heart disease before the first open heart surgery. I can live with treatment of my disease until they find a cure”. It was on several occasions that Chris would repeat this to me and my mind would race to the verse from the bible “Let your heart be not troubled”. Chris’s faith was so strong and prayers like this testify to his strength;
God and Mary – We pray for all the sick, the homeless, and the hungry. We especially pray for all those whose lives are affected by cancer and other deadly disease that alter lives. Give their families comfort. Give them strength. And give them hope. And when it is your will – please give them the grace of healing. Amen.
And with this attitude Chris continued on his different path; a saint like, a path not of regret, or despair, or resentment. He chose the path of hope! Faith and hope entered into his live in such a huge way that it made the deadly disease that was invading inside him look small in comparison. How much Chris relied on hope can be found in this prayer which he wrote;
God and Mary – Please help us to build our lives around Love and Hope. Open our hearts to each other and those around us. We have such incredible friends and family providing so much support for us. Let us never forget their love and what they mean to us – and what we mean to each other. What we know is true in our hearts – can never be taken away from us. Let love keep hope alive in our hearts. Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best thing… Amen
I myself as a brother was filled with many different feelings, some of which was guilt. I felt how is it that this disease would strike him and not me? Chris’s cancer started as a tumor in his throat. Chris never smoked, chewed tobacco, nor did he abuse alcohol or drugs. I had smoked, drank and chewed tobacco for 30 years. How could this be fair? It was such a terrible time for so many of us as we questioned the seemly senselessness of the infliction of cancer to its innocent victims.
At the time I came to the conviction that the best way I could aid my brother as he fought his battle, would be as encourager and I took on the role of Drew Bundini Brown in my brother’s life. You may have heard of Budini…he was the colorful corner man who was always at Muhammad Ali’s side. In the ring and out of the ring Ali always knew he could count on Budini to call out encouragement.
I began to sing to Chris the choruses of ‘float like a butterfly sting like a bee’ and ‘Rumble Young Man Rumble’. This I accomplished within our conversations and responding to his online journal which he kept up diligently throughout his fight.
So “Rumble” it was I would tell him when he had good news with a doctor’s visit. “Rumble” I would tell him when the news was bad. ‘Rumble Young Man Rumble’ I would write in his daily journal in the morning and ‘Rumble Young Man Rumble’ I would write in the evenings before I would retire for the night.
Chris seemed to take delight in my Bundini style banter and others too both family and friends would chime in with the spirit. Soon the word “Rumble” was on many if not everyone’s lips. Chris was such a fighter and we all began to call him “Champ” like his hero Muhammad Ali…because Chris was a True Champion; the Champion of this darkened hour and the Champion of our hearts.
As Chris became sicker and weaker he spoke to a group of loved ones and said “Cancer has taken a lot away from me… and it is about to take away a lot more. But it has also given me gifts too, gifts that I am thankful for. Cancer has changed my perspective in life, strengthened my faith, and showed me how much love and support I have. Cancer has made me a better person…maybe the person I was meant to be all along. I am thankful for that. I remain guided by hope and determined to fight and more importantly to serve others every day that I can”.
In his last days serve he did .Chris took up many causes. He began to take oversight of the parish food for the hungry program named Feed Your Neighbor. He also started an organization to help and inspire youth called Champion’s in Action. He would boast that it was easier to solicit support for these activities as a cancer victim. He joked that after he lost his hair it opened doors and everyone wanted to help the sick bald guy.
The organization Champion’s in Action is still alive and well today with the leadership now coming from Chris’s church, family and friends. It provides a vessel for Toledo Ohio’s youth to serve its fellowman by promoting good deeds and works of charity. It also provides scholarships as acknowledgements of virtuous living in the lives of its young members.
Ten months after Chris’s diagnosis on July 6th 2011 Chris passed to the other side. I was not there at his passing but it was told to me that he was in a lot of discomfort and after reciting a rosary with family he tossed and turned for a while but then stopped looked up for just a moment and whispered the words “I did it” and then was gone. I believe in his last seconds on earth he saw the light and he was greeted and embraced by the Heavenly Father, Blessed Mother, Son and Holy Spirit. His many prayers had been answered. Gods Will was done.
On the morning of his funeral which was held at Saint Patrick’s, one of the largest in the area, the church was filled to the rafters with family, friends and associates, and each person with them carried a heavy sad heart. But everyone there at that church that day was to be witness of another one of Chris’s many wondrous deeds. Once again Chris was to turn the tables on sad broken hearts and make them glad again if only for a moment.
As the Mass began it started to rain outside. There is a huge window in the front and everyone present could see the storm rolling in and the skies darkening. With the rain came the winds and with the winds the skies became grey and ominous. And then came the thunder… like no thunder anyone present had ever experienced before. It shook the entire church. It went on for minute after minute, each time louder and stronger than one before. It shook the church building so much that it seemed almost ridiculous. The hair on the back of people’s neck began to rise and folks were beginning to worry that the ceilings and the walls might cave in at any moment.
And from the rear of the church you could hear someone whisper “Its Chris…he is rumbling“. Then the person beside that person whispered the same and it was repeated over and over again, from isle to isle, person to person. Smiles then appeared on faces that were just minutes before glum with grief. My wife Carol turned to me and grabbed my arm. She said “It is Chris. He is rumbling for you!” and my heart jumped inside my chest because I knew she was right. Chris Drouillard was there again holding his court with his captive audience of loved ones.
‘Rumble Young Man Rumble’ I said to him in prayer as the thunder continued. I thought to myself ‘my my if he hadn’t already given us all a lesson on how to live one’s life and to die with humility and grace, Chris was here again to give us another precious memory to cherish with us the rest of our lives’.
After the storm came the sun and a rainbow. I am sure Chris took a ride on that rainbow up to the gates of heaven. It wasn’t long after the funeral I composed a short poem which I entitled I Hear My Brothers Sound. I will end this story with this poem which I present to you now.
I Hear My Brother’s Sound
I cannot speak well about Lightning
For Lightning has a mind of its own
And no one tells the Wind what to do
It carries on like a spirit without a home
We bless the Rain; we curse the Rain
Depending on the needs of the ground
But Thunder yes you are so dear to me
As you Rumble I hear my Brother's sound
-Paul Drouillard
