Meet my son. God knows I don't remember the last time I met him! I think he's that thing that whizzes through the corridor every morning and evening. But it could very well have been a tornado. Only if it were, the extent of destruction would have been much less. 

One day, early from the office, I decided to at least catch a glimpse of my son 'the illusionist. I ran to the door when the doorbell rang, almost tripping over the carpet. I opened the door and hugged my son, ignoring the puzzled look on his face. So what if he had brown hair and green eyes, even though, we, his parents, were black haired and black eyed. The world was turning into a global village!

'Hi Mrs. Cooper,' he said.

'Mrs. Cooper?' I thought. It certainly had been a long time since we actually had a conversation with each other. Poor thing. He had even forgotten he called me Mamma. Or was it Mommy? 

I took him into the kitchen, still ignoring his puzzled expression. Two cookies, a glass of milk and half a pizza down, I found out that this well fed, almost humanlike creature, was not my son at all. Actually my son resembled a human much less!

I asked this brown haired thing that claimed to be my son's friend, and went by the name of Ali, to point out my son to me in the family picture that was stuck on the kitchen door. To my surprise he pointed out a lean mop like figure to me. 'THAT was my son?' And I had always wondered what a mop was doing in the family picture with my husband's arms wrapped around it. 

So that is what he looked like, I thought the refrigerator fed him better! How stupid of me to mistake my son for a mop. A mop, for God's sake, is better groomed! And the one that I thought was my son in the picture, turned out to be the neighbor's black St. Bernard!

After seeing-off this thatch of brown hair, that was my son's friend, I decided to get even with my first-born. First, I ransacked the attic to find my pair of joggers. Next came the tracksuit. Yes! I was adamant. This time I would be ready when the tornado struck. I set my alarm for six in the morning. That was his time for school. I asked my husband when was the last time he saw our son. He started counting months. Lets just say I fell asleep around the 96th.

The alarm went off. Hmm 'mornings! This is what mornings looked like! 'Looks' 'reminded me of my son. I had to know what he looked like. I put on my gear. Had to be ready for him. 

Slowly, I tiptoed out of the room, into the corridor, until I reached my son's room. There. This was the moment that I had been waiting for. 'Aha! Got you.' I shouted as I opened the door. The empty bed didn't exactly look like the mop in the picture. I decided that wasn't my son. Next came the open window. 'Nah,' I thought. He wasn't that square. 

Then it dawned on me. He had, as usual, evaded me. One look at the neighbor's roses, below the window, told me why I could never see him coming in and out of the house. Standing there I felt stupid, not because I failed at teaching him the difference between doors and windows, but because I had always admired my neighbor's green thumb for growing 'flat roses!' Not to say I had even tried growing a few myself, but in vain!

I staggered towards my own bedroom. So, he had succeeded once again. Well, there would be lots of other days too. But I had to go through another PTA meeting this year. And the teacher would reprimand me; scold me; shout at me for the grades of some child that I didn't even recognize. And I would, in turn, reprimand, scold and shout at some other child, who I would think (and hope) was my son. While my son would be getting similar shoutings from some other worked-up mother. 

'Sigh!' Who said motherhood would be easy!  

- See more at: http://www.boloji.com/index.cfm?md=Content&sd=Articles&ArticleID=3112#sthash.7xPO5ppX.dpufWhen you go to a movie and in the intermission you meet an acquaintance whose opening line to you is "Hey what you doing here?' How in the world do you answer that question?.

Of course I am here to pay my overdue tax returns and grovel in front of the officer for reducing my fine and letting me keep atleast some part of my paycheck so that I can use it as a collateral for a loan to tide me over the month. Watch the movie??? naah .... Wont I go to the tax office to watch a movie ..... silly

People when vacuuming the carpet come across this obstinate piece of a string/paper which simply refuses to let go to rest in the warmth of the vacuum cleaner, no matter what they do to it, they bend down joints creaking, loosen it up and try again ... to no avail. I wonder why for heavens sake cant you pick it up with your hand, why does it HAVE to become a battle of wits between you and that piece. Just pick it up and put it in the bin .. but NO .. you HAVE to use the vacuum cleaner for it.

When you see a new carton of cereal in the store. The same cereal you have been having for the major part of your life. Only this time the carton says "New and Improved", what the hell does that mean? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it and so what you have been eating all your life just wasn't there. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something wrong with it before and you have been eating something, which you shouldn't have been eating in the first place. Makes you wonder doesn't it?

People who are willing to get off their butts to search every nook and cranny of the whole goddamn room, shift furniture and whatever for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

People who call on the phone at 4.30 in the morning and ask 'Did I wake you up'. Oh no!!! You didn't, I am usually up at this hour cutting out my paper dolls.

The phrase "You can't have your cake and eat it too". Now tell me one thing? Why in the world would I go out and buy or steal or beg for a goddamn cake and NOT be able to eat it?

People who stop besides you as you are soaking wet, drenched to the skin in the rain and say "It's raining isn't it '.Rain?? What rain ?? NO it's NOT raining.. I am this way coz I forgot to
take my clothes off when I took the shower this morning.

People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" DO you REALLY give me a choice here, what do you want me to say "Buddy you already asked me one "

Another variation to this is someone coming up to you and saying, 'Can I ask you a quick question'. The question sure is a quick one, but the bugging thing is that the answer takes about half and hour.



Now folks I am a very calm and collected person, don't usually get rattled by these trivial things it's just sometimes that I loose my &#&*# top at these people with their ^.&*&.(.*^.) habits and their &^*&##& AND I GET BUGGED