It's been about a week since Aeryn took ill with pneumonia, and unfortunately, there hasn't really been any change in her overall condition.  While she hasn't had any more lung collapses, she still remains in critical condition and in a drug-induced coma, so she can rest and heal and so she doesn't pull out any of the tubes.

It's very frustrating seeing our baby girl looking like this.  I know the doctors and nurses are doing what's best for her, but I want nothing more than for her to open up those big, blue eyes of hers and to say: "Mama!! Get me out of here!!  I don't want to be here!!  I don't like it here!! I don't like what they are doing to me!! They are hurting me!!" 

But of course, because of her special needs, Aeryn doesn't talk.  She also doesn't walk or feed herself; she requires twenty four hour care.  She has the mind of a six month old, and doctors aren't sure as to how far she will progress in her development.  

We have tried to do all we can to help our daughter; however, she has a rare condition and doctors aren't sure what to call it.  Not many children have what Aeryn has, so they are mostly clueless as how to help her or to ease her symptoms and to make her life better.  About all one can do is give her medications when she falls sick or to control her seizures, and to make her comfortable (dressing her, feeding her, changing her when she is wet or has a bowel movement, rubbing her stiff legs and arms, and taking her to her therapy or medical appointments).

I haven't really been home excepting for maybe an hour or two a couple of times a week to check on Sparrow and Timber (our other two children; they are ten and five), pay the bills, check the mail, and make sure that Trent hasn't burned the house down.  I also come home to do a load or two of laundry and to get some clean clothes for me to take to the hospital, or to bring one of Aeryn's favorite toy animals that she can have in the bed with her while she recovers from this latest illness.

I am so tired, I'm about to fall over.  Maybe a nap is in order.  I should be able to do that, but to tell you the honest-to-God truth, I am scared that if I fall asleep or leave for a longer period of time, something will happen to Aeryn, and I don't think I could ever forgive myself if something did.  Just keep our family (and especially Aeryn) in your prayers; we could really ue a miracle or a break in this situation!  Thanks and God bless!

~Megan Reuter, Aeryn's Mommy.

~To be continued!~