Hard to believe that it has been 12 years since Barrett died.  I miss him as much now as I did on the day he died, or better yet, when I received the terrible news that his body had been found among the rubble of the twin towers.

Barrett and I were extremely close: growing up, it seemed that we were always together.  When he moved to The City, it was more than I could stand, but he wanted to escape small town life and make something of himself.  That was why he became a firefighter.

He wanted to make a difference and help people whenever their lives were in danger.  He was very good at his job, too.  In fact, the day he died, he was doing what he was called to do: save others.  He died a hero.

For a very long time I was angry about what had happened; I couldn't forgive the bastards who did this.  They not only killed my brother: they also killed nearly 3,000 more lives: men, women, even children.  Yet they didn't care.  All they cared about was bringing America to her knees and delivering the final blow.

Eventually, as time wore on, I learned to forgive even the terrorists and let go of the anger and bitterness that had been eating me alive.  It wasn't easy, but I knew I had  nothing more to do.  If I wanted to move on with my life, I had to do this, for my family's sake, no, for Barrett's sake.  So that is exactly what  did.

Sometimes I still get angry when I think of what the terrorists had taken away from me (from us as a nation), but then again, I choose to forgive them and go on.  I can't change what has happened, and it is up to me o honor Barrett's memory by forgiving others; it's what he would have wanted me to do.

I'm now carrying on Barrett's memory by becoming a firefighter myself.  I have a few more months to go yet with school, then I will be a full-fledged firefightrer.  I figure if he can do it (and die a hero), then I can too (though I don't plan on dying; yet if God wants to take me home, then so be it).  I figure this is the best possible way to honor my brother and those who died on that beautiful Tuesday morning 12 years ago.