Eagan* is only twelve years of age, but he has gone through things kids should never have to experience.  He was molested, then raped, by my ex husband as a way to get back at me.

This happened four years ago, when he was only eight.  It was the worst thing that could have happened to him (or to me).  When I found out about what had happened, I was understandably devastated and angry.  I then realized just how much of a cad my ex truly was; he was a monster.

I am trying to move past this point, but at times it's difficult.  I mean, how could a supposedly loving father do this to his very own son??  How could I have been so blindsided to what was going on behind my back?  How could a man use a child in such an evil, malicious way??

Ever since then, Eagan has not talked once.  He is mute.  He chooses not to talk; he is afraid if he does, he may be punished; he feels that his father is "out there, somewhere", waiting to strike again.

His counselor and therapists are trying to bring him out of his silent world.  They have discovered that he adores spiders, so they have been bringing in those eight-legged arachnids (which I hate), to try to get him to speak.  So far, nothing has come out of his mouth.  He does smile though, whenever the therapists or his counselor put the spider into his hands so he can pet and cuddle them.  

We have no way of knowing whether Eagan will ever talk again, but the way his eyes sparkle and snap at the sight of his "friends" brings a sense of hope to me.  He may very well utter his first words in over four years.  We are praying for a miracle, and now that Christmas is around the corner, it would be a Christmas to remember.  

I will keep you up to date regarding Eagan's progress, but for now, he continues to be silent.  I miss his voice and his laughter ..... my heart aches, but at the same time, it also beats hope in the possibility that his silence will, at long last, be broken, thanks to some (icky) eight-legged arachnids.

*Not child's real name.