*Click*

Testing ... testing ... hello??  HELLO??  Anybody therrrrrre?? 'Course not, I'm talking to a stupid machine!  *Giggles*

Alaska Dawn Morgan here.  Just got my homework done for the day, so I'm free, I'm free ... *Giggles*

I'm in a silly mood.  Can you tell?  *Giggles*

*Phyeeewwww*  I got to do something about my tennies.  They STINK.  Mom always says my feet stink worse than a dying bear.   *Giggles*  THANKS, MOM.  She says I have Dad's feet 'cause his STANK.  But these are my MOST FAVORITE SHOES EV-er and I don't want to throw them away.  They're so COMFORTABLE.

Soooo ... let's see.  What's new with me other than the junk I told you 'bout the last time??  The cruise is only.  Eight.  Months.  Away.  TOO LONG!!!!  Can ya believe it??  WE'RE GOING TO ALASKA!!!!  Mom is totally stoked, and so am I!!  Now I'll get to see the land where Mom and Dad .... well, never mind ... TMI!!  *Giggles*

Because they hit the jackpot when they had fun *giggles*, that's how I got my name.  I used to hate it.  My name, NOT Alaska, 'cause I've never been there!! *Giggles*

Another reason the kids teased me.  As if my disability and my stoopid frizzy hair and my race, and my .... they teased me about EVERYTHING!!!!

But that's in the past.  Thank God!!  And I'm not gonna live in the past!  It's a part of me, but it's NOT who I am.  That's what Pattye tells me.  I told you about Pattye last time.  She's my counselor.  I love her.  

I see her three times a week (Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays).  But this week, I only see her twice, since yesterday was New Year's Day and her office was closed!

I'll see her tomorrow.  I'm supposed to bring her my journals (tapes).  I hope she doesn't think I'm a dork.  *Giggles*

She (Pattye) says I'm a good kid with a good head on her shoulders.  A kid who went through hell.  (Ummmmm, ya THINK?!??)  She says I shouldn't let the naysayers get to me.  I'm better'n that, she tells me.  

I'm finally starting to believe it, but sometimes those voices ... I've got to stop listening to them!  I'm a fighter, and I'm gonna gonna kick them to the curb and back!

I saw the lady who took care of me when I was in the hospital a few months back over Christmas; she is really nice!  She was my nurse.

She has a million kids.  I swear!  I personally don't know how she and her husband do it!  One kid would drive me crazy,  but SIXTY PLUS?? Is she nuts??  But she and her family are sweet; I've fallen in love with them.

Mom and I are still looking for a church home.  We like Rosemarie's church, but it's just too big for my comfort.  Oh, the people are nice, but I get nervous around crowds.  I get uncomfortable 'cause I think they're staring at my hands and my frizzy, fuzzball hair.  I get embarrassed.  

Funny:  because I like to sing.  I wouldn't mind being a singer.  But I'm too embarrassed to get up in front of people.  Mom and Mom's boss (Bindu) tell me I have a great voice, that I should try out for one of the talent shows, and I'm like, REALLY?!??  I don't think I'm that good.

My favorite is Carrie Underwood.  LOVE.  HER.  My favorite song by her is 'Blown Away.'  

I hope we'll find a church we both like soon.  I'm still reading my Bible and on Monday, I told Pattye about God's Plan of Salvation.  I'm not sure what she thought of it.  I'm praying she accepts.

Ummmm ...  since Mom quit Wal Mart, she doesn't seem as stressed or tired; she doesn't have the dark circles under her eyes.  She's back to being a Mom now.

YAY!  Welcome back, Mom!  For a while, I was really worried 'bout her, y'know??  

Bindu, her boss at the convenience store, is nice.  I think he may be sweet on Mom.  He keeps bringing her little gifts, and they've gone on a few dates.  They're going out again Saturday night.  

I like him.  But in a way, I'm kinda nervous about that.  I mean, I don't want anyone taking my Dad's place, you know?  

I wish Dad hadn't died.  Two and a half years ago, he died when his Humvee ran over a roadside bomb.  He was in Afghanistan.  In the Army.  The explosion killed everyone on board.

He was only 39 years old.  His death like to have ended my world.  That started the downward spiral into depression.  Well, I'd already been there, with the teasing and all, but that just tipped things and made them worse.

Dad and I were close.  I was his BabyGirl.  That was his special name for me.  'You're MY BabyGirl.'

I can still hear him saying that, but I'm forgetting what he sounded like.

You know what?  That scares the crap out of me.

*Sighs*

Ummmmmm, let's see.  Bindu.  He invited Mom and I to his house for New Year's.  We saw the New Year come in.  Well, they did.  I guess.  *Giggles*  I fell asleep.  *Giggles*  Mom woke me up shortly after midnight and we went home.

Awwe.  Puppy just crawled into my lap, wanting attention.  I love her.  She's fuzzy and cute and purrs ALL THE TIME.  *Giggles*  Stop, Puppy!  She's trying to kiss my face.  *Giggles*

Well, crap.  The stoopid phone is ringing ... hang on.  Have to put it on speaker -- GRRRRRRR.  STOOPID telemarketer.  NOT INTERESTED.

UGH!!  I hate that.  

Well, hear Mom coming in, so I'll write ... TALK ... later.  HI, MOM!!!  Sorry, Puppy, didn't mean to yell in your ear.  *Giggles*  You should see the look she's giving me.  *Giggles*

LATERS!!  *Click*