I love my family with all my heart, but like all families, we all have secrets we'd rather keep hidden.

I know I do, and I am trying like heck to keep my family together, especially now that the Christmas season is upon us again.  It isn't easy, though, especially since Thanskgiving, when I found out that our oldest son announced that he was openly gay.

I am wondering where I could have gone wrong.  I did everything right in trying to teach my kids about "The Golden Rule" and about God and tried to raise them in a godly fashion.  Then Kirk* dropped this bombshell on us over Thanksgiving dinner, and my mind has been in a whirlwind ever since.

I know I can't keep my kids little or keep them from doing what they want to in life, but he should know how I feel about that sort of thiing.  But just for the sake of argument, I will try to keep my peace, though inside, I feel like preaching to him, but knowing if I do, he will probably disown me and the family forever, and I really can't afford that because I love my son, even though he and I obviously don't see eye to eye on certain things.

Then you have the little matter of my ex husband.  He is trying to cause trouble between Wayne and myself.  I have been married to my new husband for a little over two years now; Wayne and I are madly in love with each other.  He treats a gal the way she should be treated (with dignity and respect), something Kevin never did.  Kevin was a womanizer and a drunk; he preferred other woman and drinking over my love.  We fought bitterly the whole 20 years we were married; when I filed for divorce three years ago, it was the best possible thing for the both of us.  We could no longer live together and our marriage suffered horribly as a result.

Now Kevin decides he is going to do everything in his power to drive Wayne and I apart, but he has another thing coming.  If he so as much as threatens me, I will have an arrest warrent placed on him and I will make sure that he doesn't win.  He has always been controlling, and I have had more than enough of his shenanigans!

Finally, we are dealing with the untimely death of my youngest grandchild, Clark, who died back in September after a sudden illness.  He was a year and a half old, just a baby.  His death hit me hard; I am still in shock.  Doctors said it was MRSA; I am wondering if it was something else more sinister; I somehow think that it may have been.  (Clark was the son of my daughter, Pegeen.  Her husband is just like Kevin was: controlling, abusive, and downright MEAN.  I don't trust him; I never have, never will.)

Now we will be face to face come Christmas dinner, and I am dreading it.  I don't think I could take any more heartbreak; I've already suffered enough since September, after Clark died, and things have seemed to have spiraled downhill.  Just keep me (and my family) in your prayers; I could really use a miracle (or two)!  Thanks in advance!

~To be continued!~